Change is good, unless it isn't

Chapter 7

"Was. He was my son."

Dinah bites her bottom lip, trying to hold back the sobs that she knows will inevitably follow her admission. It doesn't work though. She drops her head into her hands, her body shaking from the effort of trying to keep her cries silent.

Normani stares at her, mouth agape. There are so many things running through her mind to say; to ask. But she does neither. Instead, she pulls Dinah into a hug just as she had all those weeks ago, hoping that this would help once again.

Slowly, Dinah wraps her hands around Normani's waist, clutching tightly to the back of her shirt as a thousand memories flood her mind. Long moments pass, with the heat of Normani's stomach emanating through the thin shirt and warming Dinah's cheek, before she slowly begins to calm herself down.

Normani pushes her gently back by the shoulders once her sobs stop completely. She looks at Dinah with her eyes brimming with tears and a face full of compassion. "Let's get you to the couch, okay? This can't be very comfortable."

Too numb for words, she allows Normani to lead her to the couch by the hand. Normani takes the blanket off the back of the couch and drapes it across them as they settle in, side by side. Dinah's hands start to play with the edge of the blanket, her eyes started watering again. She had only bought it because it was Tanner's favorite color, after all.

"Do you, uh...do you want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head against Normani's shoulder. "No."

"Oh. Okay. That's fine," Normani says as she absentmindedly starts tracing the veins in Dinah's arm with her free hand. "Whatever you need, Dinah."

Dinah finally lets out a shaky breath. "Sometimes I don't like the memories because then the tears inevitably come, no matter how hard I try to stop them. It's a constant battle, Normani." She absentmindedly laces their fingers together. "A war between remembering and forgetting."

Normani rests her cheek on top of Dinah's head. "Well I'll be here when you want to remember and when you want to try and forget."

The corners of Dinah's lips turn up, ever so slightly. "Thank you. That's—"

"Dinah, what the hell is that!" Normani exclaims, pointing to a moving brown lump on the floor as she yanks her legs up onto the couch.

Dinah watches as T.J tries to get around the coffee table. She moves to help him around the obstacle. "Shh, you'll scare him."

Normani eyebrows almost recede in her hairline. "You mean it's alive?"

"He's an African spurred tortoise. Of course he's alive."

Normani tentatively crouches beside Dinah. This thing is huge and slow and kind of creepy looking. Okay, really creepy looking. She tries not to grimace. "I hate to break it to you, Dinah, but a turtle is a really weird pet."

~~~~~

Milika jumps at the scratching noise against the small kitchen floor. "Dinah, darling, why must you insist on keeping that thing? It's certainly not the most ideal house pet."

It's all Dinah can do to not roll her eyes. She knew she shouldn't have invited her mother inside. It has been nearly seven years since she's seen her, after all. "It was Tanner's; therefore, it's part of my family and belongs here with me."

Milika waves her hand in the air, as if to ward off such a silly reason. "Darling, I really don't understand why you keep reminders of your illegitimate child aro—"

"No, don't you dare," Dinah sternly interrupts. "You do not get to talk about him. If you couldn't talk about him while he was alive, you certainly cannot talk about him now. Am I clear?"