Change is good, unless it isn't

Chapter 16

Dinah rests her head against Normani's shoulder, reaching out to steal a sip of Normani's coke. They are nearly halfway home now and she is...apprehensive. She had told Jace she was leaving and would be back in a couple of days, but even though he seemed to understand...he may not have. She really doesn't want him to be upset with her; not when they were truly starting to bond.

Normani takes the cup from her hands and laughs as she looks down in it. "Thank you so much for finishing it off for me, I'm not sure if I'd have been able to all by myself."

It barely takes a moment for Dinah to pick up on the sarcasm and grin. "You're very welcome."

Playfully rolling her eyes, Normani takes Dinah's hand in her own and turns it palm up. Her finger traces every line and crevice in Dinah's soft palm and watches how her fingers slightly twitch as it starts to feel ticklish. Without looking up, she knits her brow. "You said you left Nebraska eleven months ago...where were you between then and Boston?"

She knows for a fact that she had only met Dinah a little over seven months ago even though it feels like she's known her for her entire life. It's unfathomable to think of a life where Dinah isn't in it anymore.

Dinah sighs and Normani's eyes immediately flick up to meet her face. "I went straight to Boston, but I didn't start looking for a permanent job for the first few months. I wasn't emotionally ready for something so time consuming."

Normani nods in understanding. If she had went through something so devastating, she's not even sure that she would've been able to bounce back half as quickly as Dinah did. It makes her feel even more love and admiration and pride for the woman sitting next to her. To go through so much and yet, still be able to make it through as well as she had?

It was mindboggling.

She glances over and notices Dinah's eyes slowly blink close and fight to open. She has to be exhausted after all the emotions and memories their day had dredged up; the minutes upon minutes she used letting all of them out as she clung to Normani as if she was the only thing keeping her grounded.

Normani knows she should let Dinah rest, but something has been bothering her since they had landed yesterday. And maybe, just maybe Dinah will give her a straight answer since she's so tired.

Is that a horrible tactic to use?

Absolutely. She knows she'll feel guilty for it later.

But it's also the most likely way to figure out what the hell Dinah was running from.

She laces their fingers together and gives a gentle squeeze. Dinah's eyes flutter open and she gives an apologetic grin. "What made you go to Nebraska?"

Dinah blinks her eyes quickly to stay awake. She frowns as she remembers everything that drove her away. "Circumstance," she replies, knowing it's vague but hoping it's enough for Normani.

It isn't.

"Oh," Normani says, not quite sure of what to make of that. "Why not Boston if you had lived there before?"

"That's the point," she barely whispers, too lost in thought. "It was too obvious."

That piques Normani's interest. She sees Dinah's distraction for what it is: a way to figure out exactly what happened. She takes a shallow breath, making sure to keep her voice just as low. "What were you running from?"

Dinah's mouth opens to respond, but she snaps it shut. Normani almost had her; she'll give her that. She's not just a detective because she's lucky; her interrogation skills are some of the best Dinah had ever seen. She could make someone slip into a trap, guide them exactly to where she wanted the conversation to go without them even knowing.

Dinah's glad that Normani cares about her enough to want to know more about her past, but she's almost pissed that Normani had done that to her. Almost.

But after all Normani had done for her, after how much they cared for each other...she couldn't stay mad if she tried. Her eyes close as the memories continue to rush in, hitting her like a ton of bricks settling down on her chest. It's too much. Incredibly too much to discuss on a plane full of strangers. Normani would just have to wait until she's ready to spill such heady news.

She licks her lips, eyes glancing back up to Normani's concerned ones. "Like I said...people. And that's all I want to say about that right now." She frowns. "I'm sorry," she adds on in a whisper.

"No, hey," Normani reassures as she clasps Dinah's hand a little tighter. "There is nothing for you to be sorry about. We can talk about it when you're ready or we can never bring it up again, alright? It's up to you."

"Thank you." And she means it wholeheartedly. Normani had pried, but she had backed off—just like she knew Dinah needed her to. Not many other people would've let her drop something like that so easily.

Normani assures her, tells her that she loves her and doesn't need to be thanked because that's how their relationship works. Over the next hour they talk about anything and everything: Dinah's time in boarding school—that Normani had been surprised to hear about—her love of equestrian, some horror stories of Dinah's residency at the hospital. She wasn't lying about her horrible bedside manner; some of the tales had Normani laughing for minutes straight.

Still grinning, Normani lifts an eyebrow. "Tell me about...I don't know. Your parents?"

Unknowingly, Normani had hit another wound. One that doesn't run as deep, but deep enough all the same. Dinah shakes her head, eyes dropping to the floor. "We don't speak."

Normani gives a little nod. She's sure Drea wouldn't let Normani out of her sight if she had lost a child. Everyone reacts differently though, and she knows that. "Too hard on them?"

Uncharacteristically, Dinah gives a small mirthless laugh. "Quite the opposite actually. They were relived."

Normani's mouth drops open incredulously. Surely she misunderstood. "What?"

The shock is evident in her voice, but Dinah chooses not to answer. What could she possibly say? That her parents were coldhearted enough to celebrate the death of her child? That would most likely only get Normani riled up enough to confront them and she doesn't want that. Her parents aren't worth that kind of attention.

Normani lifts the armrest, pulling Dinah into her side. Her hands rub up and down her back; a gesture of comfort and soothing, her own way of showing Dinah that she cares. "I'm sorry."

And she is. Tanner, Dinah's parents...how many things can one person possibly undergo before they break?

Dinah takes a shaky breath, hand clinging to Normani's shirt. "You shouldn't be. It isn't your burden to bear."

"But you shouldn't have to bear it either," she says, as she tries to conjure even a little of what Dinah has had to deal with all these years. She lightly drops a kiss to the crown of light hair before resting her cheek upon it. "No one deserves that, Dinah. Especially not you."

"It's impossible to measure what someone does or does not deser—"

"No," she cuts her off. "I'm telling you right now that you deserve more than to be treated like that." She sighs, letting go when the seatbelt light starts to flash. Dinah pulls back and Normani lightly cups her cheek as she looks into her eyes. How Dinah can even trust her after living so long with people who didn't care about her, who lied to get what they wanted from her...she'll never know. But she'll be damned if Dinah has those same insecurities when it comes to her.

"I promise I'll never treat you like that, Dinah," her voice a whisper barely heard above the shuffling of everyone scrambling to put away their things. "I love you and I promise to only give you the best that I can give."

And Dinah knows that. She can see it in Normani's eyes that she means every single word that she's saying. She mutters a thank you, full of love and fully aware that Normani told her not to do that anymore. But there are not words great enough to express what she feels, how she feels about this woman next to her and all she's managed to do in a short amount of time.

So until she's able to articulate something greater, something that even comes close to the way she feels...those words will have to do.

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