Trigger

33

Julianne Victoria

Napaka anti-climactic ng araw na ito. I was not sure if I'd be disappointed or what pero akala ko talaga ay aattend ng meeting namin ngayon si Alexander dito sa Imperio.

Hindi rin naman dahil sa gumising ako ng maaga, took my time in the bathroom and maybe put a little effort in dressing myself up today ay dahil para sa kanya 'yon.

Okay, fine... maybe it was for him or maybe it was for me. Maybe I wanted to feel good about myself today and all that Leslie pep talk mantra from last time. Maybe. It could be either for I was still grasping and adjusting to this logic of love thing.

Nagsuklay pa ako ng maayos, only to feel...haayy. Nakakatuliro ang ganito.

All I did was sigh heavily as I waited for the meeting to be over. Kanina ko pa rin tinititigan ang orasan, kind of wishful thinking.

Hindi na talaga darating 'yon.

Okay, I must admit, I felt disappointed.

Disappointed over what? Over something you assumed and made scenarios in your head about last night 'till you fell asleep at around 4 in the morning?

Although naginfom na kanina si Myles na may conflict daw sa schedule ng meetings ni Alxander kaya Spectrum ang naprioritize ngayon kaysa saamin sa LS ay hindi pa rin maganda sa pakiramdam ko.

Lintian, hindi muna dapat ako nag-assume. I had never been this level of disappointed and anxious over something, kaya hindi ko alam kung saan ko ilulugar ang ganitong pakiramdam.

"Hey LS team, sorry we're late..."

Boses 'yun ni Carlos and that could mean...

Oh my god! Internally ay pangpapanick na ako ng sobra kaya kaagad kong kinuha ang phone ko to do something while I tried to ignore the goosebumps that I felt. Para akong sinilaban sa inuupuan ko na hindi ko maintindihan sa isiping baka kasama rin siya ni Carlos.

Pakiramdam ko ay magkakastiff neck din ako dahil sa pagpipigil na lingunin ang direksiyon ng pintuan and I wanted to pull my hair dahil sa biglang pagkataranta. But I felt it, ramdam kong kasama siya ni Carlos. It was crazy for I seemed to develop an Alexander radar na kahit hindi ko lingunin ay alam kong nasa malapit ko lang siya.

Nagkunwari muna akong abala sa cellphone habang pinapakalma ang sarili bago nagbilang ng sampung segundo at nag-angat ng tingin para lingunin ang direksyon ng pintuan.

Lintian. I had often snorted at the usual slow motion camera shot in the movies dahil ang cliché noon para saakin—but let me borrow his favorite curse for a second...FUCKKKKK!

The slow motion effect was real and his pair of ceruleans immediately found mine. I cannot even begin to describe how hard the way my chest churned, rose and fell when my breath was taken away by his presence. His eyes, the way he looked at me, his black hair, the way that it was neatly faded and parted on the side and finally, his strong jawline in which, like his hair was neatly shaved, a contrast of the tattoos all over his body.

Shit.Lang.I was awestrucked. Mas lumala pa ang slowmotion effect ng naglakad na siya papunta sa side nina Myles but like a sniper, ay mabilis kong napasadahan ang kabuuan niya bago siya naupo paharap sa direksyon ko.

Alexander was already beautiful and his business suit only complimented his appeal. Grabe...what I was feeling, seeing and my way of responding to him was beyond anything that I had ever felt or acted on before.

Pinigilan kong mapasinghap and like magnets, my eyes went back to his.

And I was the siren, huh? Then why did it felt like he was the one luring me? Tapos wala pa nga siyang ginagawa? And why was he looking at me like...like he was undressing me? My clothes suddenly felt confining.