Mercy- Ethan Dolan

Chapter Fifteen

 After sitting in the field with Ethan for I don't even know how long, in ways it felt like hours and others it felt like minutes, but all in a very good way. We decide that it was time to go home. No real deep conversations happened after he hugged me, I don't want him to feel like i'm trying to push secrets out of him. So, we just kind of sat there and talked about nothing for awhile, which I usually hate doing. Small talk has never been something I was good at. But, with Ethan it's different- easy, even. I feel like tonight I got to meet a good portion of the real Ethan. He's not bad. He's hurt. He's always been told to block his feelings, and he does that the only way he knows how to, by blocking people. In a twisted way it makes sense to me. Before his great aunt he's never had that person that allows him to feel the way he does, and she was taken away from him, so he went back to his old ways. I get it.

Don't get me wrong, I always knew there was depth to Ethan, that was plain to see from the first time I met him last year. I always knew that it was partially a mask he wears, but I'll be the first to admit, I mostly just thought he was a dick. Rightfully so? Maybe. Maybe not. But we're here now, and I'm going to make sure he knows that I'm going to be here for him, same way I would for Grayson.

Now, I'm not saying he is Grayson. He's very different from Grayson. The difference is still uncanny to me. Just because their twins doesn't mean I'm going to have the same relationships with them. They're two people, but that doesn't mean I have to think less or more of the other one of them. Grayson is my best friend in the whole world. For the longest time my only friend. But, that doesn't mean I can't be on Ethan's side too.

Ethan looks over at me and smiles, when I look over at him, I give him a smirk. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says, shaking his head but not his smile. "This wasn't as bad as you thought it was going to be, was it?" He asks.

"No, it was actually fun." I tell him. "And when you're off parole, we can do it every night." I say. "But we really shouldn't again until you're off."

"Yeah." He says. "I know. But, it taught you a little lesson, didn't it?"

"And what would that lesson be?" I ask, slightly amused.

"You don't always have to be in a situation that you're comfortable with, surrounded by people you're comfortable with."

"I'm comfortable with you." I tell him.

"More so than you were a week ago." He says.

I roll my eyes at him. "How come you have such a hard time believing that I trust you?" I ask, with a small laugh even though I really wasn't kidding.

"We've been through this." He tells me. "Sorry." He says, but sounding sincere.

"Don't be. I understand." I tell him. "But, you have to realize that I'm not going to stop trying to prove myself to you."

"You really are a good person, Rowen." He tells me with a smile as we turn to my street.

"Yeah and so are you." I tell him.

He just laughs at that.

"Stop that." I say, sternly.

"Rawr." He says. "I seem to have struck a nerve."

"Shut up." I say as we approach my house. We quietly and slowly make our way back in before basically running downstairs to the basement. When we're safe, we go sit on the couch downstairs, sitting closer to each other than before. We're sitting so close that we're touching. I look over at Grayson to see him still sprawled out in the same position as when we left. I just look back over at Ethan and start laughing a little, he does too. "That was so fun." I say. "Holy shit."