The Long Way Home

Six

When Lars arrived the next morning, Matthew was still curled up in his bed, papers scattered all around him from a long night of writing.
His editor let himself in like usual, poking him on the head.
Matthew looked up, blinking slowly and wiping the drool from his mouth. He couldn't see much because his eyes were shit but then some blurry assed hand finding his glasses in his bed and passing them to him.
He put them on, getting a closer look at his new artist.
He was pale as shit. Even his hair lacked colour. His eyes though....his eyes were this magnificent shade of red, which was dazzling.
"Fuck you're hot."
"Vhat?!"
"What?"
"Huh?" Lars raised an eyebrow at the thirsting writer.
"Uhmmm...I said fuck you, thot..."
"Zhanks." Gilbert smirked, holding out his hand for Matthew to shake.
"Peter  gave Gilbert a tour of your house so you don't have to."
"Where is he?"
"I'm under here." A tiny voice squeaked form beneath the bed.
"What are you doing under there?!" Oh god that was where he kept his...
"What's this?" Peter poked his head up from the side of the bed opposite Gilbert and Lars.
But his head wasn't the only thing that popped up.
The other thing was big and pink and had Kung fu action on Saturday nights when he was feeling particularly alone.
"What the hell, Matthew?!" Lars was blushing. Matthew grabbed the dildo and hurdled it through the open bedroom window, wanting to die.
"I'm done. I'm killing myself. This is too much. Sayonara cruel, cruel world."
"Wow. Zhat's zhe biggest one I've ever seen." Gilbert whistled, making the Canadian die even more in shame.
"But what was it?"
"You'll understand when you're older." Lars muttered, still red.
"Why are you blushing? Don't you guys have sex shows in Amsterdam or whatever?" Matthew glared at his editor.
"Ja. But this is second hand embarrassment. I can never think of you the same way again."
"Seriously, what was it?" Peter asked again.
"Vhen a man und anozher man love each ozher very much..." Gilbert started.
"Non! Arrêt!"
"I'm just going to leave you guys to get to know each other...more than you...already have..." Lars coughed awkwardly and started to back away but Matthew caught his sleeve.
"Please don't leave me with these people!"
"Hey, vhere did Peter go?"
"Look! I found another one!" A tiny British voice said followed by the distinct sound of vibrations against the wood floor.
"Oh no!"
"Cool!" Peter crawled along the floor, following the second, much larger dildo as it vibrated around the room.
"I need to wash my eyes out with holy water." Lars couldn't keep eye contact with Matthew anymore.
Gilbert was laughing along with Peter. He had grabbed the broom and was using the handle to direct the device around. They were playing what looked to be dildo soccer, using Matthew's open closet as the goal.
"We should go upstairs and leave these two to...whatever the hell that is."
"I have things to do, Matthew."
"Pleeeeease."
"Maybe tomorrow. I've got to go."
Matthew sighed but let go of his editor's sleeve. "See you tomorrow then."

Wtf is wrong with me???