The Long Way Home

Twenty Five

"Are you coming in, Matt?" Peter asked once Lars's car pulled into the driveway off Arthur's home.
It still looked the same as it had the day they left and it made Matthew sick.
"No." He answered.
"Yes." Lars corrected. "Go show him your pet goldfish."
"Oh yeah! His name is Count Goldmire and he has the coolest castle!"
Matthew glared at Lars and slipped out of the car behind Peter and his little backpack.
He took Matthew's hand as he wandered up the pathway. Lars's car pulled out of the driveway and rolled out of sight. Asshole.
The front door opened before they reached it.
Arthur stopped in his tracks when he saw Matthew standing there. The house may not have changed, but he sure had.
His eyes were more weary than they had been before and his body was more thin. He stumbled forward and threw himself into Matthew's arms.
"You came back?"
"I'm not staying."
"I don't care." Arthur wouldn't let go of him, no matter how much he wiggled and squirmed.
"I..."
"Why don't you come in? I just made tea."
"Of course you did." Matthew sighed, managing to push his father away.
"Peter, go out your things upstairs. Wendy keeps calling the house."
"I'll call her back when I put my toys away."
"Good lad." Arthur latched onto Matthew's hand and pulled him into the house.
The inside had changed even more than Arthur. The layout was all different and the photos on the wall were mostly of Peter and Lukas. There were a few of Emil and Arthur scattered about, but that was about it.
Until he turned and saw the old fireplace.
All along that little shelf part were photos of him and Alfred and Francis. There were pictures from their first day of school and when Alfred's team won in a baseball tournament.
He nearly whimpered, but decided to hold back.
"Have a seat. I'll be right back." Arthur gestured to the couch before taking off to the kitchen. "So how have your books been coming along?"
Matthew shuffled nervously before taking his place on the chesterfield. "They're fine."
"Tell me about your most recent one."
"It's just the same as I always write." Matthew shuffled his feet together. Arthur hadn't even complained about him wearing his shoes indoors. "So, where's Lukas?"
"He went out with Emil. They're starting to reconnect again since Emil went off to Iceland." Arthur returned with two cups of tea in his hands. "You still take two sugars and milk, right?"
"Yeah."
"This is really good tea we picked up in England." Arthur explained.
Matthew took a sip. It was just like the teas he used to drink. Arthur's skill with the hot water and leaves hadn't changed.
"It's good." He admitted. "How was England, anyway?"
"It was nice. It rained the whole time, but there's nothing new about that."
"That's true." Matthew took another sip of his tea.
"Was Peter good? Did he misbehave?"
"He was fun to have around. It really changed the pace of things...I guess."
"You can visit him any time. I'm not going to stop you."
Matthew nodded again. "If you ever need me to babysit him again..."
"You're a bit too far away for just a night off." Arthur admitted. "But if you lived a little closer..."
"I couldn't-"
"Or you could just move back in."
Matthew blinked. "I spent the last six years trying not to live here."
"I know. And I'm sorry you have to feel like you're not welcome in your own home." Arthur set his hand on Matthew's shoulder.
"I just...I felt like you were trying to replace them...and then you had Peter and it felt like you were trying to replace me." Matthew set his tea down on the coffee table and wiped at the tears building in his eyes. "It was like you were trying to push me out because I was just part of a bad memory. If I hadn't let Alfred go to the party, they would still be alive." His voice fell apart and he doubled over, crying into his lap.
"Matthew!" Arthur set down his tea and pulled his son back into his arms. "I'm sorry. You were falling apart and I didn't know how to keep you together." He rubbed his back slowly and gently. This wasn't Arthur's typical touch. He had learned this somewhere.
"Lukas had gone through the same thing as me. He knew how to deal with the pain and he helped me get back on my feet. But I got distracted by my own ease and assumed that you were feeling better too. You were out of bed and going back to school by then."
"I was miserable."
"I'm so sorry." Arthur rocked back and forth. "You don't have to forgive me for that."
"It's okay." Matthew took a deep breath, wiping away more tears. "Because I will."

I'm so bored of summer vacation already wtf? I still feel like there's some big thing I'm supposed to do but nah