The Mechanic

Chapter Thirty-eight - "With Him."

"The Mechanic"

Chapter Thirty-eight

'With Him.'

Demi's POV

Getting to know Denise was an incredible feeling. She was so familiar because she was so much like Joe; her heart was so spacious, and I could tell she was making room for me. We'd made a day of our endeavor, deciding to do some shopping and chatting along the way. Unlike earlier, this time whenever Denise spoke, I listened and held on to every word, as if the moment would never come back again. She was filled with this light that I had never seen, and it was capturing in the most amazing way. I quickly began to develop a fondness for her, just in our one day together.

She walked alongside me through a local drugstore; our last stop of the day. The fluorescent lighting of the family planning department bore down on me blindingly, while on Denise, it highlighted the hazel and green flints of her cocoa brown eyes. Her long eyelashes cast streaks of shadows down her cheeks, and for a brief moment, as she went to tuck a curl behind her ear, I imagined she was a queen.

Royal. Humble. Kind. Caring. Sincere.

Denise.

We scanned through the large aisle, my eyes skimming a number of contraceptives, prenatal vitamins, pumps, creams, ointments, and so much more. In a flash, I was overwhelmed, and even more nervous.

"I'm gonna pass out," I said, winded. I glanced over at Denise, who had a rectangular white box in her hands. "I didn't know this would be this . . . scary."

Her smile reflected her son's.

"It can be nerve-wracking," she nodded. "But knowing is better than not knowing."

"I doubt that."

"Doubt is easy; it's a crutch to avoiding finding out the truth." She squinted at me, that smile never leaving. "Strength comes from overpowering it."

She was like a Word-A-Day calendar. She always had something locked and loaded for me to learn, to absorb, and to use from the moment it left her lips, until the end of my life.

"You'll be great, Demi," she said, extending the box to me. "No matter what this test says."

Glancing down at the box, I saw that it was a home pregnancy test, which was exactly what I had expected it to be. As I took it from her hands, a thought ran across my mind.

"Uh . . . Joe . . . what about Joe? Should I tell him I'm doing this? Or what if the test is negative, should I keep it to myself? Should I wait and do it with him? I just. . . I have no clue how a real relationship is supposed to work."

"Do you love him?" She asked; the question she asked on the day I met her that I'd never given her an answer to. I knew she'd ask again. I just didn't know when.

"I . . . I can't lose Joe," I said, my tongue still stuck on a secret. "He's the only thing that makes me . . . the best version of me."

Denise lifted her chin, locking eyes with me.

"Demi, do you love my son?"

There was no biting my tongue with Denise. Her questions came with a packed punch of demand. And in that moment, as I held her stare, I felt something tightly bound inside of me begin to tumble free.

"I've never been more in love with anyone other than that mechanic," I finally admitted. I looked up at the ceiling briefly, letting out a breath. "I love him . . . painfully."