I belonged to another man. I was in the home of another man. I was in the bedroom of another man. And yet, there I was, my lips pressed to someone else.
Joe pulled his lips from my forehead, and immediately I went for his chest, my hands leaving his and wrapping around his back. I didn't want to stop touching him; he was my recurring comfort. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders, and as he pulled me in tightly, I hoped that he didn't want to let go either.
"It's late," I heard him breath, his tone reluctant. "Why don't I come back tomorrow?"
' No, I don't want you to go,' I thought to myself, my lips tugging down into a frown. I pulled back to look at him then, but I didn't let go.
"You . . . you don't have to leave . . . right?" I whispered, my voice shyly pleading. I didn't want to be too obvious, but I imagined I failed, as Joe furrowed his eyebrows. His face became concerned all over again at my behavior; I could see that shimmer in his eyes that he got when he knew something was up.
"Demi," He released his grip around my shoulders and ran his palms down my arms. "Come on, what's going on?"
"Nothing!" I insisted, an obvious lie. "It's just that . . . I mean, you just got here."
"Demi." Joe said again, his voice tight. At the sound of this, I sighed and I let him go, dropping my hands at my sides. I felt myself becoming timid, a new vulnerability washing over me. Joe had such a strong influence over my emotions, and he didn't even realize it.
"I'm . . . ," I took a breath, my eyes falling to the ground. I considered telling him the whole truth, because he'd just been completely honest with me. "I'm dealing with a lot of stuff with Wilmer right now and, you know, this whole thing is just so . . . ," Joe pulled back, and we were a mile apart, yet again.
"Wilmer . . . ," He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Is he why you were crying?" I ran a hand through my hair, keeping my eyes on the icy ground. All I could think of was the phone call I'd just had with him, and how my heart was running in circles. I knew I was being stupid; I knew I was falling for Wilmer's words all over again.
But something about that call had shaken me up.
"It's not what you think," I said softly. "It's complicated."
As I looked back up at Joe, he seemed a bit unsure of what to do or say. This was a first, it seemed, as I was so used to him always having the answers - just like Ariana. I watched his hand slip back into his coat pocket as he retrieved his truck's keys. While he did this, I became a bit saddened, as I knew he was not going to stay longer, like I'd hoped.
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