Just Some Shit I'll Write.

Flashbacks...

Well, I'm just gonna cop out here and say that this a lot of just my past that I don't have people to talk to about. So this chapter is gonna be me putting on paper so that like, 2 people can read it.

Now me being a straight white male, my choices of people I can hit on are limited. After much experience, I've learned that going for the popular girl that you have nothing in common with is a bad move. Yeah she's hot, but she'd never be with you. And even going for it because she's hot is not only low, but you're making yourself look like a toolbag. Besides, you'll either A- hurt them, B- hurt yourself, C- hurt your reputation, or D- which is the correct answer anyways, all of the above. Now that that's out of the way, I'll talk about personal experience. (I'm not gonna use names because reasons) When I actually started sixth grade, there was a girl from a different school who was new, and I thought she was gorgeous. Brunette, short, funny, but there was one problem. She was one of the popular girls. I had my friend circle, and she had hers. I'm a funny guy, and I naturally hit it off with people, male or female. Now I slowly edged into her group, and I naturally became the comic relief. Later on down the line, I felt myself changing as a person. I was one of those popular kids. It wasn't really something I felt good about, nor bad. It was meh. Later I admitted my feelings to her. It just went down from there. I opened up to her over messages like I had to no one before. Then she became another one of those people. She told the entire school what I had said, and what I had felt. I was "that kid" shunned, damned, left on my own because nobody else wanted to be caught talking to "that kid" I stayed liking her until October of seventh grade. Then I tried with another girl. Not as popular, but still known. She was blonde, did dance, nice chest I might add. The experience wasn't a new one though. Again I was warmly welcomed to the friend group, became comedic relief, and was just another friend. Then I opened up to her. She told me she liked me, but little did I know, it was all but a ruse. I was used as a laughing stock, yet again. Rejected, damned, and shunned. I was again, that kid. My friends did even did it too. It was only then I found my true friends. A month after the last "friend group" That November, my life was changed for the better. I met the most amazing people in my life as of this far, and one of them was so special to me that I couldn't resist but to like her. She was slightly shorter than me, short chocolate hair, glasses, beautiful smile, and a great sense of humor. It was around two weeks after I met her that the old crush decided to start teasing me. She new something was up, and she was gonna get her way. She blackmailed me, and told me that if I didn't do something for her, she'd tell my new crush. And what she asked was so high of a magnitude, I had to sit there and take the blow. I remember the day vividly. It was seventh period ELA, after lunch. We were finishing the movie The Outsiders. The room was dark, and everyone was filing into the class room. The girl that blackmailed me came into the room sniggering, and her and her clique sat at their table. I sat at mine and my friends table, where my crush also sat. Right next to me. She was the last in the classroom, and when I turned around to see her, she was blushing, and not looking comfortable in the slightest, though she had managed a broken smile when our eyes met. I knew the other girls had told her. I was sitting there, sweating bullets. I figured if she already knew, why not take a shot in the dark. I tore off a piece of my notebook, and wrote,"would you go out with me?" With a yes and a no at the bottom. I handed it to her, and was waiting for my returned slip with a no on it. She handed it back, with no expression on her face. I unfolded it, prepared for the blow.
"Yes"
And there I sat, dumbfounded, and all I could do was lean over and say "thanks". She returned it with a "you're welcome" followed by one of her heartmelting smiles. It was nirvana. During that moment, at the front of the class, I scooted my chair closer to hers, and put my arm around her. I could envision my silhouette of her and I in front of the screen, like a giant neon sign saying screw you to that popular girl. Me and that same girl have been together twice now. The first time she dumped me, it was because her parents despise me, and the second time was my fault. That leads into my final statement. Don't disrespect your significant other because you wanna hug on them or kiss on them. It can drive them away. I thought it was helping. I learned the hard way.

I don't know, I've had this with me for a while and haven't really told anyone about it...

Love ya peeps

~Joe