Forever After.

To Cope or Not to Cope.

I walked over to Shawn, holding my breath. He finally spoke breaking the silence
"I've been in this house how many times?" I held my breath
"About twelve." I said while sitting next to him
"I haven't noticed that door." he extended his muscular arm and pointed to the girl's bedroom door; my heart started beating rapidly
"It's a storage room! Nothing in that room but old stuff from dad." I blurted out
"I didn't ask what was in it." he said moving his eyes from the locket around my neck to the door. He lept to his feet and ran to the door. I looked at my feet and saw that I was wearing socks; I decided to use my momentum and slid across the floor just in time to beat Shawn to the door. "Why can't I see your dad's old stuff?" he asked staring me in the eyes, causing me to look at the floor and mess with my sleeve
"It will fall on you. Like a bunch of stuff." I said while he gave me a 'seriously you call that acting' look. "Why can't you. You used to tell me the truth." he said, his voice starting to raise, which of course made me cry. "Shawn! I. We have two." I started to say with tears streaming down "You're right we have to take a break. I won't go on tour, but I won't stay here either!" he stormed out.
I ran into the bathroom, locked the door and cried for an hour. Then I started thinking of the most horrible things that I wouldn't even dream me saying let alone thinking. I started thinking that Nicole didn't want me at her wedding because I wasn't a friend to her, Shawn doesn't love me, dad doesn't love me, but the girls need me! When I finally stopped crying I unlocked the bathroom door and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a cracker, a chip, a tiny piece of meat, and a green journal which I had started writing in just one week ago. I ate the cracker, part of the chip, and half of the meat then I wrote the calories down in the green journal. I heard a noise coming from the living room, it diverted my attention from my journal. I stood up, stumbling over every step I took until I reached the living room; I felt so lightheaded by the time I reached the living room. I saw what was making the noise it was Soxs. I walked over to Soxs, I was just feet away from him I was going to make it and pet him, but the floor seemed to disappear from underneath my very own feet, and the very world as I knew it was black, pitch black and I was all alone.
I opened my eyes and was blinded by the lights of a hospital room. Boy do I really hate hospitals, expecially since this was about my fifth time being in the same hospital and almost every time I came in here I didn't know why I was here. The doctor came in
"For how long?" this made me very puzzled
"For how long what?" I asked trying to make since of the situation
"How long have you been anorexic?" the doctor asked while holding my green journal
"About a week." I said trying to get up, but the doctor wouldn't let me leave. I waited for the doctor to leave then I cut the hospital band off my wrist, I changed into my clothes, and walked out as if nothing ever happened. I got home and Vivica told me that she had forgotten Melody's jacket so she came back, found me on the ground; literally just skin and bones, Soxs asleep next to me, so she decided to call the hospital; the one which I just left.
All I want now is my girls. They came in the door as I got down one one knee to embrace them in a hug. It was late so I had to put them to bed, giving them each a kiss on the forehead then went into the living room. Vivica hadn't left yet like I thought she would, she just stood there looking at me as if I was the dead come back to life
"What?" I asked feeling awkward
"I'm sorry. I told him." she said expecting me to get mad
"Well he hasn't came here. I don't think he will." I said as I watched Vivica walk out the door.
I got ready for bed when I heard a slight knock at the door. I ignored it, thinking it was imagination but the knock came again, not getting any louder or quieter. I built up enough courage to get to the stairs, and started to very slowly creep down them until I got to where the living room is; I stopped and stared at the door, the knock came again. I reached my hand out to open the door. I opened the door hoping for the best, but it was Shawn
"Why would you do this to yourself?" he yelled as I tried to get him to quiet down, not wanting to wake the girls "Look, I thought you cared about yourself more than that. It will kill you." he said this time with his hands on my face "I can't watch you kill yourself." and with that he walked upstairs and I went to the bathroom. I started thinking that the secret I was keeping from so many people was tearing our family apart. I grabbed a pen and some paper and started writing: Dear Shawn,
I've always loved you, but I need you to understand that what I'm doing is for the best. Take care.
-Love Sky

Dear Naomi& Melody,
I love you so much and I'm certain that you'll grow up to be strong independent young ladies. Stay beautiful, I love you.
-Love Mummy

Dear Mum,
I love you and I'm sorry that I didn't become a doctor like you wanted me to be. I want to be free and now I will be.
-Love Skylar
My phone started buzzing it was a text from mum.
Mum: Your grandmother just died. :'( B/c of cancer. Dad's side.

I threw my phone down and cried for about an hour, then suddenly I stopped. I grabbed sleeping pills, it read that the most I could take was two. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a huge glass of water, and took fifteen sleeping pills. I felt very tired and my whole world started spinning then. Darkness.