The Only One (A Lauren Cimorelli Love Story) [Book 1]

Chapter 13: Understanding My Feelings

Chapter 13: Understanding My Feelings

2 weeks later

Skilar's POV

I've been super busy lately, with what you might ask? Well there's school, soccer, and um- that fanfic I'm writing. It's so embarrassing, people actually are reading it and like it and I don't know what to do. Like a ton of people hate it too and I really don't know what I'm doing with my life. To make matters even worse, Lauren's been keeping her distance from me and has been hanging out with her new boyfriend. I don't know him, he goes to public school. But whenever Lauren is around me, she's always talking about how great he is. He does seem great, I mean he plays soccer so what can go wrong there? It's just- it's hard. I just love Lauren so much, it's hard knowing she'll never love me back. If you love someone so much then you would let them go, if that's what makes them happy.

Lately, the chapters I've been writing for this fanfic have been darker or sadder. Occasionally, I'll feel a tear drop down my cheek as I'm writing. I don't cry that easily and I thought I'd be stronger, Lauren's just a friend, she's nothing more. I guess I just should get used to crying myself to sleep again, I was getting better. I hadn't cried in ages, the last time was back in Maryland during that painful month after my mom died. I used to cry all day everyday, I never attended school or ever went out of the house for that matter. It got pretty bad, I had even started to cut. Yes, I'm probably the nicest and strongest girl ever but back then I was someone so foreign from who I am now. I just don't want to go back to that girl, Lauren isn't even dead but it feels like she is. I've got that feeling of loss in my heart, like from when I lost mom. It's just so hard but it's life so I guess I'll have to live this way.

@jessiegelanyi: Hey! I love your fanfic and I was wondering if you have twitter. Keep up the good work!

I was on wattpad checking how many reads and votes my fanfic had, I still can't believe how many there are.

@cimorelli6ever: @jessiegelanyi no I don't, should I make one?

@jessiegelanyi: @cimorelli6ever YES PLEASE!

@cimorelli6ever: @jessiegelanyi haha okay I will

I went to the twitter website and began to make a new one. I have no clue what I was getting into, I just kind of let myself do it without even thinking. Lauren didn't believe me when I said I was Cimorelli's biggest fan because I didn't have a fan account so now it's time to prove it. I put in 'cimorelli6ever', my email, and a password and it was done, I was now officially one of those real Cimorelli fans. I followed all of the girls, that 'Skiren' shipper, that fan 'cimfampride', some fan accounts the girls talk about all of the time, and a couple other random fan accounts that just came up when I would type in 'cimorelli' on the twitter search thing.

@cimorelli6ever: Hi, I'm Megan and I love Lauren Cimorelli.

@skiren6ever: @cimorelli6ever hi I'll follow you back but I'm sorry to say I only ship Lauren with Skilar

I laughed to myself, if only she knew. If only she knew I was Skilar, maybe someday she'll find out, definitely not now though.

@jessegelanyi: @cimorelli6ever hey! You're that girl from wattpad, I read your fanfic and it's amazing

@cimorelli6ever: @jessegelanyi haha yep that's me and thanks

@cimfam159: @cimorelli6ever omg I read your fanfic and it was... indescribable

@cimorelli6ever: @cimfam159 ha ha ha I see what you did there and thank you

Wanna go for a walk?-Lauren. I got a text from Lauren and I instantly smiled. She hasn't texted me in awhile and I haven't been able to hang out with her much either. I logged off of my new twitter account and shut off my laptop.