After The Confetti Falls {Joshler}

Chapter 5: Forever is Short as Summer

Soundtrack (to Josh):

Summer Skin - Death Cab For Cutie:

"The season's change was a conduit, and we left our love in our summer skin."

Summer Love - One Direction:

"You were mine for the summer, now we know it's nearly over. It feels like snow in September, but I always will remember that you were my summer love. You always will be my summer love." 

Skinny Love - Bon Iver:

"Come on skinny love, just last the year."

Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie:

"The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row. It seems farther than ever before. Oh no. I need you so much closer."

Buzzcut Season - Lorde:

"Where nothing's wrong, but nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you. Where all the things that we do for fun (and I breathe, and it goes) play along. Make believe its hyper-real, but I live in a hologram with you."

Flowers Bloom - High Highs:

"On a windy ocean far from me."

Mayonaise - The Smashing Pumpkins:

"Pick your pocket full of sorrow and run away with me tomorrow. June."

Dream - Imagine Dragons:

"All these sorrows I have seen, they lead me to believe that everything's a mess. But I wanna dream. I wanna dream. Leave me to dream."

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"What happened to our love? When did forever become as short as summer? Unraveling my heart like a pulled piece of loose yarn on my favourite sweater, shivering despite the warmth of the weather;  the last breath of summer held too long. Exhale frost."

The sunlight breaks through the hospital window, it's beams shining on Tyler's cheek as he breathes softly. His eyes start to flutter open and squint from the glare initially, but once his eyes adjust, it's the most beautiful thing he's seen around here besides Jenna and Josh. The sunrise blazing behind the skyline of rooftops, the bright pink, orange, and magenta of the sky slowly chasing away the dark shades of the night. Tyler always loved sunrises. Partially because they were beautiful, and partially because they brought with them a fresh start, and marked the end of night and whatever chaos and torment it may have carried, and now it all seems powerless and inconsequential. But Tyler can tell right away that this morning feels different. Perhaps some of the heaviness of the day before carried over, but he's not used to waking up and not feeling brand new with the sunrise. He looks over at Jenna, asleep in the chair beside him, her hand clasped in his and smiles to himself. She looks pretty as a picture and he really appreciates her being here, as he's certain she didn't sleep much, and if she did it was in a very uncomfortable position. He wonders if Josh will be back today. He would like to know what his probably very urgent situation was that pulled him away so soon yesterday. And also, what's up with the new look. Maybe Josh isn't ready to have that conversation yet though, they've had a lot of weird stuff happen between them recently, and he's sure they will talk about it as soon as they can and work everything through, he reassures himself. 

Except that they don't. 

And days begin to fly by like passing planes, each one Tyler is working hard to regain his movement, his mom even flew down to see how he was doing, and with each sunrise Tyler tells himself that today is the day Josh will come by and explain everything, but with every sunset it isn't. Each day his skin and bones heal a little bit more, until the doctor tells him that he is on track to return home by tomorrow. He wonders what the doctor means by home, because the only home he'd ever known was named Josh and had beautiful almond eyes, and a voice like summer rain, and a heart bigger and warmer than the sun, and now he wonders what he must've done to make him stay away.  He sits upright on his hospital bed, watching the raindrops roll down his window, and cars passing by making paths through the water on the street with a distant expression.  He pretends the water is deeper than a few inches, and the cars are boats, and they're all afloat on a stormy sea of uncertainty. His eyes travel down with the raindrops unpredictable paths, and then back up to the horizon to see how far he can see. It's not very far past a few tall buildings until the pale grey sky swallows up everything in a misty embrace. Jenna walks in with a plate of food, he pretends he didn't see her. Hospital food just seems to have no appeal to him right now.