After The Confetti Falls {Joshler}

Chapter 8: And I'm Far Away

Soundtrack

Alright - Keaton Henson: (J to T)

"You and I are monsters. We'll not find another. Cannot be together, lest we eat each other." 

Epilogue - Keaton Henson: (T to J)

"Here's to me: I'm on the edge of my seat, bound to fall, but I'm hoping you fall into me. Here's to us, here's to the ties that we cut along the way." 

All I Want - Kodaline: (T to J) 

"All I want is nothing more: to hear you knocking at my door. 'Cause if I could see your face once more I could die a happy man I'm sure." 

Paper hearts - Tori Kelly: (J to T) 

"Memories are playing in my dull mind. I hate this part: paper hearts, and I hold a piece of yours. Don't think I would just forget about it. Hoping that you won't forget about it."

A Case of You - Noah Gunderson: (T to J)

"I remember the time you told me: "love is touching souls" well, surely you touched mine, cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time."

Please Don't Go - Barcelona: (T to J)

"Get these left handed lovers out of your way. They look hopeful but you, you should not stay.!if you want me to breakdown and give you the keys, I can do that, but I can't let you leave."

Great Summer - Vance Joy: (T to J)

"Do you want me now? Left your clothes next to the bed, some pretty pictures in my head. I hope you had a great summer. A great summer away."

Chapter 7: Orphan Theism - Levi The Poet: (T to J)

"Will you come home? This treehouse won't be that without you."

___________________________________________

"What happened to our heads? When did we become so fragile? Caution tape draped along corners of our minds that we do not show. War zone thoughts and tissue paper hearts; Always tearing pieces from our chests and giving them away in gift bags to people who won't give back. Sealed lips and battered trust. Silence is slow poison."

Tyler runs as fast as he can manage with his injured hip, he doesn't care about the pain, no amount of physical pain would even come close to what he's feeling inside. He doesn't even know where he's going, he's just running down the stairwell, out the nearest exit, down the sidewalk and he finally stops at the edge of the street. He's still shaking violently as he looks up at the night sky with tear filled eyes. Josh was always someone he trusted because he was always so gentle, so constant, so steady, so safe. He never would dream, even when he's angry, of shoving him, or shouting like that, or kissing him with no love, no consent, no way out. The Josh he knew would stand there even if Tyler screamed at him and hit him, and just wait until he calmed down to hug him. There was never a day where he raised his voice to shout at Tyler, there was never a day where he didn't respect his personal space, where he wasn't cautious because of his past not to hurt him. He wishes that he could just shake this off, and idealize about Josh, but he starts to even question if he even knows the man with jet black hair and mocha eyes that he left in that hotel room only minutes ago. His phone rings, but he doesn't answer it. He knows who's calling. Or does he? Does he know this man that he's become in such a short time? There was always no safer person in Tyler's mind than Josh, he was his safe place. Now he doesn't have one. He feels so immeasurably small in this moment, shaking on the sidewalk outside the hotel lot despite the warmth of the spring night, tears still streaming down his face, unable to shake the feeling of Josh pushing him against the wall with all of his strength, holding his wrists so tightly that he couldn't move, he knew he was afraid. His eyes were wide and he trembled, then he shut them tight, squeezing and retracting his fingers periodically to distract from the flashbacks as well as the present. Josh knows better than anyone what he looks like when he's feeling anything at all, but especially fear. There's no way Josh didn't feel his body shaking against him, there's no way he didn't know what he was doing. Tyler shuts his eyes again tightly. He needs to stop think about it. He needs to wash this bitter taste from his mouth, because Josh doesn't taste like that. Josh tastes like strawberries and summertime, not like blood, and anger, and pain. He starts to walk to his left down the sidewalk, still not sure where he's headed. He needs to find a place to sleep tonight. He doesn't even have a car he can sleep in. He reaches up and wipes the tears from his face with the back of his hand, stepping on worn sidewalk blocks as cars fly by him to his right. He doesn't know what to do, but then a thought occurs to him, and he's sure it's the best thing he can do right now. Jenna may be miles away, but she's one of his best friends, and always knows what to do when he's upset, so he takes out his phone and calls her.