After The Confetti Falls {Joshler}

Chapter 6: Take The Latter

Soundtrack:

Animal - Miike Snow: (J to T)

"In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody I knew before long, long, long ago. But I'm still trying to make my mind up; Am I free or am I tied up?"

Magic - Coldplay: (T to J)

"And if you were to ask me, after all that we've been through: "you still believe in magic?" Well, yes I do."

Sign of The Times - Harry Styles: (JN to T)

"Just stop your crying; It's a sign of the times. Welcome to the final show. Hope you're wearing your best clothes."

Sky's Still Blue - Andrew Belle: (T to J)

"Our vision's a portrait; a pallet of colours. We swim in an ocean of blindfolded lovers, and now that I've found my sight, oh, I finally realize that it was there the whole time."

Be The One - The Fray: (T to J)

"Will you be, be the one and only? Wait for me. Will you be the only one?" 

Wait For Me - Kings of Leon: (T to J)

"I tried all the way. Wait for me. Wait for me. It's all better now. It's all better now."

Chapter 3: The Great American Game - Levi The Poet: (T to J)

"I've got a Polaroid hanging on my wall that a friend took of me and my angel. I remember the day like it's something I can touch, but it's stuck in the square between the borders of the film, and I can run my fingers over our faces, but I can't get back to the places we were."

________________________________________________________

Tyler's mind races at the possibilities of what that phone call could've meant, but the glaring, unrelenting thought is that she is cheating. It would make the most sense from what he heard, there seems no other reasonable explanation. Although, he reassures himself, things aren't always what they seem. Like the day he came home to find her painting. Although, maybe they are and she's very good at hiding it. It's all his fault, he knows it. Expecting Jenna and Josh to just love him unconditionally while he gives his body to Jenna and his heart to Josh and stays in the middle being so afraid to lose them both, why is it any surprise that he ends up doing just that? Even if he had been devoted, what kind of person could love someone like him unfailingly? Certainly the only love like that does not exist on this earth, there is no one here for him that could suffer through loving him and all of his mess for very long. They all leave eventually, one after another, like birds in the winter, except they don't come back. You can't cage a bird when their instinct is to fly and expect them to be happy, and you can't cage a person either. When they have come to their senses and decide to go, they go, and care not for what wreckage they leave behind them inside of his bones. What does he have left once they go? His family is back in Ohio, and he could go back, but his hometown holds such terrible, cold memories that he deals with enough from so many miles away, he's afraid of what it might look like to immerse himself in that environment again. His childhood home, and all the nights he lay terrified of the darkness, or overcome with the heaviest feelings that he didn't know how to accept at so young. So he cried, and if anyone had heard him they would've done something reckless like scream and break things, or burn something, or hurt someone, because it was the saddest sound you would ever hear. The saddest, most broken sound. No, he's not ready to go back there yet. He knows he's back on the road tomorrow, so the only chance he has to talk to Jenna is tonight since she refuses to talk about important things over the phone. He knows he has to do it, but he's terrified. He's so afraid because he's sure he knows the answer she will give him, and he's sure he's not ready to hear it, but regardless, he has to. In close relationships you don't let these things slip away, and you often have to do things that terrify you despite the cost. But he is far more afraid of himself than of Jenna's response. Even being as blessed as he was for so long, and as loved, he has had a lot of low points, and taking that away is taking away another reason to keep fighting. He has another physiotherapy appointment, and he's able to move his left leg a little bit more. He's a far cry from walking on it, so he'll have to do his next show in a wheelchair, there's no doubt. He's thought about cancelling it, but he remembers the kid he played basketball with that he promised a shoutout to, and he thinks of all his fans who paid to see him because his music means so much to them, and all the fans who are in wheelchairs themselves, but their's are for life, not a short time while he heals, and what sort of message would he send them? There's no reason this should make him cancel, the media can talk all they want, it's his job to be hope and be strong for his fans, so this isn't a negative thing, this is an opportunity to send a different kind of hope that he's only going to get to send for a short time.  That hope is that you can do anything, even perform onstage in a sick concert for thousands of people, no matter what you're mobility looks like. That is that you can pursue your dreams, and despite the world calling it a disability, there is no dis to anyone's ability to do anything they have a passion to do. Maybe it won't mean the same since it's temporary, but if he can send any hope at all, it will be worth it. After his session, he heads back to his room on his crutches and makes his way to his bed. He starts to worry about being left alone to his thoughts again, but then his doctor comes in with his arms full of papers. Tyler glances to his left and sees a bag of carrot sticks that Jenna had left him since he needed something "healthy to snack on between meals" because he's "not eating enough.". He likes carrot sticks thankfully, and as soon as he saw Dr. Nelson enter the room, a childlike part of him took over. He has been trying his hardest to get this guy to crack a smile since he's been here, and now he's gotten desperate, so this will be his last ditch effort as he's sure Dr. Nelson is here to talk about discharge. He reaches over to the bag and pulls out a carrot, and starts to gnaw on it as noisily as he can manage.