Pieces // H.S

Chapter 31: The Kiss, The Touch, The Rush

Harry:

Yes. I kissed her. It was stupid, but I was slightly drunk. Little did I know, it would get worse as the night went on. I’m not going to describe the kiss, like some hopeless romantic, I’ll just briefly describe what happened after. She was embarrassed, and so was I. The next day, every person who cared would know that I kissed multi-billionaire, Jane Hamilton. There would be stories made up surrounding my actions, and her reply to my mistake. She would be in huge trouble from Matthew who would now do everything to destroy me. After a pause, the few people who had saw, spread the word. A few photographers caught the brief moment, and it would be plastered all over the news tomorrow morning. In the heat of the moment, I grabbed Jane’s hand and pulled her away from the crowd. She called a car, and we travelled back to her house, before anyone could get a word in about anything.

She let me in her house, which was unhealthily tidy.

“What the actual hell?” She said. I never thought I would hear her use stronger language, I always thought she was too posh for that. She didn’t look angry, just stunned.

“I don’t know.” I was intensely embarrassed, so I looked down at my shoes, with my hands thrust in my pockets.

We both got even more drunk after that, knowing that whatever we did we would live to regret.

The next morning, I woke up in her bed, next to her. I had a roaring headache. I wasn’t entirely sure what had happened last night, so I won’t attempt to describe what I thought had happened. I realised, now that all her makeup had come off, how child like she really was. Her face didn’t make her look a day older than fourteen, neither did her body. It was her height that aged her. She was slightly taller than me, on flat feet and  she always looked so pale and ghost like, but with her bare arms outside of the covers, she was quite tanned. I saw brief flashes of the night that had passed, but it was like piecing together a jigsaw you would never have all the pieces for. She stirred and woke when her phone went.

She woke to see me standing in the doorway and she was shocked, then calmed herself, remembering that I had stayed the night. She stopped her phone from ringing, and returned to facing me.

“I’m not even going to ask…” She said letting her sentence trail off. “Harry, were you very drunk or…” I hadn’t anticipated that she might wonder if I was drunk or if I loved her. I hadn’t thought up my reply, so I used the truth.

“I was quite drunk but...” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Nerves got the better of me.

“Last night was stupid. The press won’t leave it alone for another few weeks yet, so I suggest we don’t see each other again. It’s for the best, you understand?” I didn’t even appear to phase her, which annoyed me slightly. I felt a crippling feeling in my stomach as she said that. This was the decline I would unavoidably end up facing. I hadn’t waited long enough for her. I’d blown it. It was my own fault, so I could only blame myself. I got my stuff and she called a cab for me.

Once I had washed, and was ready to leave, she opened the front door for me.

“Harry, I’m sorry.” she said as I reached the porch. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s ok. You’re right, this isn’t a good idea. Just thought I’d tell you, I loved you.” I added and left. I felt a weird sensation, like a weight had been lifted. I wondered, if at any point, if she had loved me.

Jane:

Harry loved me. Harry Styles actually had a thing for me, at one point. Not many average people like myself can say that. The day I said we should never see each other, was one of my bad days. It was the only option I could see, at the time. If we no longer had any association with each other, the press would drop it, it would be dead to them. I knew I could never be with Harry even if I did love him. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him, I just needed friends more now, than a boyfriend that I could never trust and never feel safe with. Matthew meant more to me at that point in time, he was pivotal for my life and career. After all, Matt was my manager and like a brother to me. When I closed the door after Harry, all that went out the window. I broke down in tears. I’d turned down one of the biggest stars of my time, not to mention the first person I actually loved. I hadn’t felt so happy with anyone since my parents died. Alright, he was obnoxious, not to mention, vain, and definitely not to be trusted but deep down, but he had a beautiful personality. I hadn’t really had much of a chance to get to know him properly. We had met in an awkward way and finished in an awkward way with not much content in between. At least I ended on top. I had beaten him, in this horrible game, unlike my predecessors. Now he was gone, I could move on, and refocus on reality.