Pieces // H.S

Chapter 34: Jane: #Awkward

Quite a lot happened since the beginning of the year. After a few days, I had my eighteenth birthday. Many people usually celebrate with a big party, which was what I was expected to do, but I didn’t. I went to a local macrobiotic cafe with Felicity, Jade, and two other friends from school. It wasn’t very extravagant, but soon everyone had birthday parties at macrobiotic cafes. It was quite funny. It used to be that no one did what I did, no one liked what I liked. Suddenly, everyone either wants to be me, wants what I have, wants to like what I like, wants to do what I do. All those who didn’t like me, who rejected me at school, suddenly liked me. I got a friend request from someone I knew a long time ago, this time I was the one to decline. It was funny and I got a kick out of it, which was probably a bad thing, but I deserved to be a little bad once in a while.

Not much was happening on the music scene. Jade just got more and more sick with her pregnancy so she was completely out of it. The baby would be born soon, though. Felicity came into the studio occasionally to listen to what I had put together. I released a single in my own name, again, and it went straight to number one for about twenty weeks. In the meantime, I started writing songs for other people. I got bored without the others in the band, so at least writing kept me busy and out of trouble. I helped people make music videos, which made me more money and kept me in the spotlight. I had a funny request for a song in about mid february. I only heard the artist on the phone, but I recognised the voice. He wouldn’t tell me his name, but I swear that I knew him. It should have been obvious to me who it was, but it wasn’t at the time. Anyway, I wrote a song, but I decided to test the person who would receive it. I decided to put my fee up. Normally, I charge the artists twenty percent of all profits made. In return they can use my name, saying I wrote it, which increased their sales figures about twenty percent. With this client in particular, I decided to put my fee up to fifty percent. He groaned, but took it. In return he sent me the pre-release recording. When I heard the singing, I knew straight away who bought my song. It was a good job it had been one of the songs I put about 0% effort into. I wasn’t letting Harry get anything from me. A problem arose that I hadn’t anticipated, after the release of the song. It rekindled the rumors of a romance between us. When the press asked me to clarify if there was, I laughed. They loved that reaction. Harry didn’t. I hadn’t treated him well, and I wasn’t going to start now. He was trying to make money out of me, and I wasn’t planning on giving him that luxury. Each time his name was mentioned he made about 50p. So I quickly diverted the press’ attention. I went out with someone. They were soon distracted by this new romance and Harry was forgotten. His single only got to about twenty in the charts. Everyone who was close to me wondered what I was doing.

“What are you trying to gain from hurting Harry more?” Felicity asked me.

“I don’t know. It’s like a boxer and a punch bag. What does the boxer gain? It’s a similar paradox.”

I hated myself when it hit home how cruel I had been. So I decided to apologise, publicly. It was a hard thing for me to do in words, so I did it in a song. The chorus went something like this:

How can I forgive myself, when you can’t forgive me?

I was stupid, I’m not perfect, but I need you to forgive me now.

I’m dying inside knowing that I killed every chance I ever had with you.

I’m just calling to say… I’m sorry. Is it too late to apologize?

The lyrics were a little corny, however, It went straight to number one, but it didn’t really matter what happened to it. I heard through Niall that Harry realised I had written it for him. Niall said that Harry had liked the song. I also got the impression from his twitter page.

‘@JHamilton_221A Great new song.’

It completely flustered the press because they couldn’t work out what was going on. I replied by saying

‘@Harry_Styles Thanks. Glad you liked it.’

I felt like confusing the press even more, which was funny to watch.

In the period of silence (the name given to the months where 221A didn’t release anything - the press chose it) we were asked as 221A  to do the Comic Relief song. I was looking forward to finally releasing something with the others. Jade was slowly recovering from the sickness the pregnancy had caused and Felicity had planned most of her wedding, so we finally did something as a band. We decided to cover a mashup of songs chosen by the public including Gotta Be You by One Direction. With Jade back in the mic, we made more for charity than any of our other songs. I was happy to be helping someone.

The months rolled on until April, the date Niall and Felicity, finally decided to set for their wedding. Weddings were always awkward encounters, especially as it was my best friend’s wedding and I was forced into being a bridesmaid. I hate being the bridesmaid. It means you have to be sociable and it also means people focus on you slightly more than they would if you were just in the congregation. I was obliged to wear this dress that matched the rest of the wedding colours and themes. It was quite a pretty dress, and everyone said I looked amazing in it, which I strongly doubted but I wore it anyway. My hair ‘had’ to be done especially for the occasion. Felicity chose the hairstyle which was recreated on my head. Apparently it was better than my normal hairstyle. I stuck with it, not to ruin Felicity’s day.

The day before the wedding, Felicity panicked and had second thoughts. I came to her house and found her sitting in front of a pin board, which organised all her carefully laid plans. There, pinned in the centre was the seating arrangement. I came to have a look and she quickly hid it.

“What? Can’t I see who you put me next to?”

“No! It’s a surprise. You didn’t reply. Are you bringing anyone to the service and after-whatever-they’re-called celebrations?”

“No.” I dropped the relationship I had created to get the attention off Harry.

“Good.”