Pieces // H.S

Chapter 24: With or without you...

Harry:

I couldn’t sleep that night. I just lay there looking at the ceiling. My house was empty and cold. Christmas lights flickered outside on the street but it was deadly silent. The world left me alone to think about my actions. My body was numb from being still for such a long time. I thought about the fact that I may have been better without her but it didn’t stop the sadness I felt. Once I had decided that I had spent too long waiting for sleep that wouldn’t come, I went downstairs and into the garage. I found the toolkit that I had been given as a half joke. Despite the message that came with it (‘you’re a tool’ was written on the gift label) I had kept it incase I ever learned how to make something useful. I sought the hammer that had come with it and pulled it out from the box. Then in a drunken rage I smashed the devices that lay on my kitchen counter. Among them was my phone. It was compressed into such a mush that not even the best phone engineer could repair it. I smashed the other devices so I couldn’t use the internet anymore, to prevent looking up Jane ever again. I hit them again and again with hot tears running down my face and onto the worktop. Pieces of circuit board lay all over the floor and around the room.

“Jane! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!” I shouted into the empty house and sobbed loudly to myself.

The 5th of December that year passed quickly. I spent most of the day either sleeping; drinking, crying or just sitting in silence. Why had Jane upset me this badly? It wasn’t as if I loved her. I knew what it felt like to love someone, and it didn’t feel like this. I just couldn’t be with or without her.

I spent the next few days in a similar way, with the exception of the fact that I hid at the back of the house from people who had come to visit me. No one had heard anything from me in days so my close friends started to get worried. People called my home phone and left several messages on the answer phone. I didn’t keep a track on the days I spent hidden from the world. I just sat in the cold outbuilding with the home phone, hoping for my life to change.

* * *

Jane:

I didn’t even attempt to go to bed that night. I just sat next to where Harry had sat to explain his actions that same night. Loneliness crept in so once time had got around a decent hour I called Felicity. She answered the phone after two beeps.

“Hello? Jane is that you? Matthew told me what happened.”

“He did?!” What had Matt told her?

“Yeah. He said that you would call, because you’d be feeling a bit down.”

“How did he know that? Anyway, how was your night?” I distracted myself by concerning myself with her life.

“Niall stayed the night. I think you can guess the rest. Have you heard any news about Jade?”

“No, have you?”

“No. That’s why I asked you.” I really was out of sorts that morning, which was understandable, seeing as I didn’t sleep at all the night before. “Matthew said that you and Harry had fallen out over something private, that’s all I know. He said that I shouldn’t let Harry contact you through me, which I promise I won’t. If he’s dead to you, he’s dead to me. I don’t know about Niall though, so I can’t promise anything from him. I hope you’re ok, though. Falling out with someone that big time must have been hard.”

“I’m not going to talk about it. If you want to know, you’ll have to ask him yourself. I just wanted to talk to someone. I’m glad I have a friend like you.” I heard someone call her in the background.

“Are we done or do you want to talk some more? I don’t mind either way.”

“No. You get back to Niall, I’ll be fine. Just thanks for being there.” I put the phone back on the hook ending the call. Everything seemed to have changed for Felicity and Jade. Jade was expecting a baby. Her life would be taken up by the new addition to her family, meaning she would settle down into safe family life, with singing as an extra on the side. Felicity would get married and then be completely devoted to her new husband, like a loyal puppy dog. I, on the other hand, would be the lonely, youngest member who is left to look after the band’s legacy. It sounded like a tale from Jane Austen.

Matthew arranged for my phone numbers and contact details to be changed and given to everyone I was either related to, friends with or who needed the details for work. Harry was definitely not given the details. Matthew wanted me to move house as well, but I refused saying that it would show that I was giving into Harry. Instead, he doubled the security on my house giving strict instructions that Harry or anything that had some connection to Harry was banned from the premises. That meant he couldn’t send me letters or send people to spy on me or anything like that.

Weeks passed quickly meaning that it was nearly Christmas. I wasn’t surprised that I hadn’t heard anything from Harry personally, but what I did think was strange was the fact that the entertainment news had nothing on him. I wanted to check on him, but I knew I couldn’t. We were no longer friends.

We were invited on ‘the Biz’ Christmas show that year. It was presented by Chris Gerse, a famous actor. The show presented the latest in entertainment news each week on BBC Three at 9PM. It had over twenty million viewers at Christmas and we managed to boost the figure in the UK alone to two billion viewers. All around the world, people watched us on the Christmas show whatever time it was. Chris mainly spoke to Jade and Felicity about their home lives, which I wasn’t really listening to. He asked us about our new album and how Jade and Felicity managed to get the time to record the songs.

“That’s why we called it ‘Over to You’ because it’s really Jane’s album. She wrote all the songs all by herself and recorded most of them by herself as well, which is amazing.” I got a big cheer from the audience after Jade said that.

“I haven’t really heard much from you, tonight Jane.”

“I don’t mind Chris, my friends have much bigger things going on in their lives right now and I’m so pleased for them.” I sounded like a child but that’s how our audience saw me - the baby of the group.

“Awww.” Chris said which was was followed by the same response from the studio audience. “Talk about awww, I have a little surprise for all of your personal fans out there, look what our production dug out of the Home Videos archive. You and your friends used to get up to a lot when you were teens, didn’t you Jane, like making ‘Teens react to...’ videos. We have permission for everyone involved in these vids to show them to you now.”

He pressed play on the video we had done about Best Song Ever. Three of my childhood friends sat in front of the screen watching the video to the One Direction song. We pulled strange and shocked faces as we watched the video and held up signs like ‘cruelty to nerds’ and ‘how much would it cost to repair all the damage?’. The audience laughed and applauded me as I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.

“You are officially my new favourite musical comedian. People when you are next on YouTube, seriously, check them out. I laughed every time. So funny!” Then Chris touched his earpiece. His expression fell to one of intense concentration. “I’m afraid I’ll have to interrupt the Christmas cheer to bring you some rather sad news. Harry Styles, member of the band ‘One Direction’, has been reported missing. He is suspected to be alive and to have gone off the record without the involvement of any other party. If sighted please contact the missing persons line on…” I was shocked. He was missing? What was he playing at? Was this some kind of life-risking guilt-trip he was playing? Anyway, I wasn’t going to give in, besides we were no longer friends. He was virtually dead to me.