My Dearest, Laurens

A. Hamilton

I was so angry that I literally picked Joh up off of the floor and carried him out of the room.

"Toodloo, John deary. Come back a visit me soon." Thomas said.

I had had enough of his bullshit so I put John down, walked back into the room and grabbed Thomas by the collar.

"You're already so annoying in class AND you somehow convince the most important person in my life to suck your dick for drugs, and now you're just TRYING to provoke me. I swear to fucking God if you do so much as to lay another hand on him you won't be able to get your dick sucked anymore because you will not have one." I spat in his face.

I dragged John to our room, pushed him in and locked myself in our bedroom. I sat on the floor and just clawed at the carpet. That's what I did when I was angry. No shouting, no talking things out, just sitting and contemplating.

I honestly scared myself when I yelled at Thomas. That's the most I've ever yelled at someone when I was angry. I've yelled at people during debates but never during anything that was actually happening to me at that moment. That just proved to me how much John meant to me.

Obviously he didn't feel the same way, though, if he would do what he did with Thomas.

I had finally calmed down after a bit when I heard a soft knock on the door.

"A-Alexander?" John said nervously from the other side of the door.

I got up slowly, unlocked the door and opened it. John was standing there with red, puffy eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Alexander. I just, I overreact a lot and I was scared you didn't want me and we aren't even officially a thing yet and I was scared we might never be and I thought maybe some drugs would help and Thomas made me that offer a million years ago so-" I cut off his rambling by pressing my lips to his.

This kiss felt much different than the other kisses we had shared. I could feel and urgent pleading through this one.

He was begging me to forgive him through his lips and I could tell he was truly sorry when his salty tears hit my lips.

I pulled away and looked into his tired, longing golden eyes that had been fogged up by his tears.

This man was truly beautiful.