Lost

Chapter 70: Poking Emotions

The chapter explores emotions, the author expects reactions B-/

Zayn picked up pieces of the shattered china one by one. His eyes lingered on the jagged bits. The shattered ceramic, once whole and beautiful, was an accurate representation of his life. He had the perfect life. He had family and friends. It was like a beautiful vase that held many blossoms, but in one swift blow, it was wrecked.

Clenching his jaw, Zayn threw a piece onto the pile of trash. The piece further smashed to tiny bits. Just like his life, blown to bits with each consequent hit.

Zayn stood up, putting the broom away. His eyes swept across the sitting room he had wrecked earlier. Pain coursed through his body knowing this is who he was. A destructive entity that ruins whatever he comes in contact with. There just was no other truth to it. He was cursed through the evil ways of his past. He neither deserved, nor experience happiness and love.

But still, he hoped for it. He wished for it.

He had given up on finding love but he hoped to rescue the love he was losing. Despite the odds against him, Zayn hoped to win his sister's trust back after years of strained relationship. He dared wish for a family again. He wished for Claire.

Zayn's hearted stabbed painfully and he felt his eyes water as he straightened the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. His fingers dug into the leather with the intensity of the agony. He felt like his heart would explode just by thinking of saying Goodbye to his sister.

Would she even want to say goodbye? Would she be able to look at his face ever again?

After all, Claire would have figured out by now if she stayed around him he would bring her ruin. He would deprive her of the life she deserved just like he deprived their grandma of being alive.

"Zayn?" Niall put a hand on his shoulder.

Zayn blinked, turning his face away from him. He busied himself with straightening the coffee table. It's glass had shattered to a million pieces.

"How is she?" he asked, avoiding Niall's gaze.

Zayn could feel Niall's eyes taking in his distraught appearance that he was trying hide. He continued sweeping the glass, but who was he kidding. His best friend could obviously figure out he had resorted to cleaning the mess he created earlier to distract himself from the pain he felt.

"I think you should go and see her."

Zayn paused mid sweep. Scoffing, he continued with what he was doing earlier.

"You really should, you know."

Zayn's jaw ticked.

"You expect me to face her after what happened?" he asked, his tone bitter.

"Zayn --"

"You think she wants to see me after what she went through?"

"Yes!"

"No, she does not want that!" Zayn shouted, feeling his eyes sting. "She's been through hell. The last thing she wants is to lay eyes on the very cause of that nightmare --"

"Sometimes, I just want to grab that big head of your and smash it against a wall to see if it's actually empty!" Niall fumed. "You know, for an intelligent guy, you're pretty stupid!"

Niall glared at Zayn, kicking the broom out of his hand. Zayn opened his mouth to retaliate but Niall cut him short

"You're her brother, you dimwit!" He continued, "She narrowly escaped rape. She survived an assault by some shitbag after her brother warned her about! Do you have any idea what she's going through right now?! Knowing that she verbally abused a freaking brother who was trying to protect her?! The least you could do is be there for her while she's hurting and scared of losing her BROTHER right now!"