Lost

Chapter 99: "The Mysterious Arethas"

So the juice! All the juice B\ Lots of emotional juice :P And if I don't get loads of juicy comments, I'd be terribly disappointed :( Bring them on!

(I don't like the first half of the chapter. My writing is kinda rusty, so bear with it.)

Salma's vision blurred with tears, she turned away from Zayn, feeling conflicted. Having eaten and rested somewhat, Salma was a lot more composed compared to when she saw him earlier but she was still an emotional mess. She inhaled a deep, shaky breath of the cool night air, trying to clear her head.

Yes, she had questions. She was confused. Yes, she needed answers but did she need them from him? Someone, who had been really good at playing mind games with her. If he could guilt trip her into thinking she had wronged him by reporting his misconduct, if he could force her to humiliate herself by mocking a suicide attempt, if he could manhandle her, if he could convince her into not reporting him to the police, then how far past was it for him to trick her into a marriage?

Salma, However, soon realized that it didn't matter to her. The nikkah, the lies, the mock identities, none of that mattered unless -

"Bee . . ."

With his pulse racing, Zayn stared into her dark brown eyes awaiting her verdict. His heart sank seeing the distrust in them piling up as each painful second ticked by.

"Please?"

Salma wiped her eyes, feeling frustrated.

"Are you even a Muslim?!" she suddenly cried out, not able to hold it in any longer.

This had been the first and only question that has been ruining her peace of mind the most. Salma could deal with rest of his antics, his lies, his tricks, his anger, and horrid mood. She could make a relation work or tolerate it or break it, but only if it was legitimate to being with. She had signed a Nikkah. She tied a sacred knot. Her only concern right now was to know, if after tainting the purity of her declaration of love, did he also taint the sanctity of the trust called marriage.

Zayn, although taken aback by her choice of first question was relieved that she at least giving him a chance to explain.

"Yes!" He said with conviction, "If you'd only hear me out, I'd tell you my story! All of it!"

He looked so pained, sounded so sincere, that Salma almost gave in, but how often had he lied to her, tricked her and made a fool out of her. How often had he taken her generosity for stupidity and her forbearance for a weakness?

How often had she been too trusting, and him too deceiving for that trust?

She looked down at her hands and was surprised to see them in his firm grasp. Salma pulled them away, ignoring the disappointed look that crossed his features. Should she trust him to not lie again? Salma bit her lip.

Realizing she would never know unless she heard him out, Salma managed a nod, asking him to continue.

"I had been a Muslim for close to five months now," Zayn began eagerly, "Before I left. Back when I was helping you with your research, I was really upset with you once - myself actually. I was having a hard time controlling my behavior around you so I met with Snob - I mean, Sarah," He corrected himself quickly.

"I asked for her help. It was weird to me that you people did not struggle against what I was struggling with. I asked her how it was possible for you guys to control your desires, to not date, not go out, nor show any interest in any such matters, and she shared this with me."

Zayn shifted slightly, reaching for his phone in his jeans. He unlocked it and switched to the apps. Salma watched bewildered when he turned it around to let her see the bayyinah app.