Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Dancing On My Own

Song: A cover of Dancing On My Own by Calum Scott

Requested by my wonderful friend, Olivia. She's too lazy to create a Wattpad account so just check her out on Instagram if you feel like it. (@Olivia_lynas). It would be much appreciated. I added Calum Scott's version of the song because it fits the oneshot better, in my opinion. The song is originally from Robyn and it's also a wonderful version, so feel free to listen that one too. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this ♥

~***~

Somebody said you got a new friend

Does she love you better than I can?

There's a big black sky over my town

I know where you're at, I bet she's around

I stared at the suit in front of me. Today was the day. The day I would never forget. That was supposed to be a good thing, but instead, this would be the most painful day of my life. I wasn't ready. I would never be ready to witness it. I was willing to do anything to keep this from happening, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to John. I knew he was happy this way and that should be enough. I was his best friend, I was supposed to be happy for him. But I couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if I wouldn't have faked my death. Maybe I would be standing in front of John instead of next to him. 

I shook my head to get rid of that thought, but it still lingered in the back of my mind. John loved Mary and he was going to marry her today. There was nothing I could do. I just had to give them their moment and say goodbye at the end of the night. I briefly closed my eyes and smiled sadly. This would be my last evening with my beloved John Watson. I grabbed the suit I was supposed to wear and sighed. ''Into battle,'' I muttered to myself.

And yeah, I know it's stupid

But I just gotta see it for myself

A part of me hoped John would change his mind and run away with me, but I know that it was a thought too unrealistic to keep. However, I simply couldn't get rid of it. I wanted John to look at me instead of Mary, I wanted John to say 'I do' because I was the one marrying him. I wanted my chance to say it, so I took it. As the pastor asked Mary the question, I shut my eyes and held my breath. And together with Mary, I whispered the two most meaningful words I had ever said. I opened my eyes again and smiled widely, pretending to be happy for the newlyweds.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh oh oh

I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh

And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh

I keep dancing on my own

I had given my speech in front of all the guests and was now preparing myself to play the music for John's first dance with Mary, the dance I should be having with him right now. The speech went better than I expected. John had listened to my every word. I spoke about our time together, our cases and our drunk adventure. He had laughed, cried and by the end of it, he hugged me. Just thinking about it caused a small smile to appear on my face. It was over too soon and all I wanted was to jump off the stage, pull John away from his wife and hug him again, this time never letting go. But I stayed rational and kept myself from making that mistake. I couldn't get in the way of John's happiness. And I knew how happy Mary made John, and as his best friend, I should be happy too. If John's happy, I'm happy. Those words kept running through my mind, attempting to convince my heart, but to no avail. It wasn't working. My heart would forever ache at the thought of seeing the first and only man I loved getting married to the woman who had replaced me.