Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Cold Man

Requested by Spaghettification

I feel like this oneshot I wrote isn't very good. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to and I hope that I haven't disappointed you. I simply saw no other way of writing this, so I continued until it was finished, but I am not all that happy with it. I hope that it's just me and that it isn't as bad as I think it is. I'll apologise in advance. Please, let me know what you think of this.

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How would you describe Sherlock Holmes? If you would ask a variety of people this, you would get all kinds of answers. It would depend on who you're asking the question. The man can be described in many ways, all different yet kind of similar. One might say 'genius, tall, handsome, mysterious'. The other might say 'clever, distant, alone'. But eventually, if you keep prodding them, they will all say the same thing. Cold.

But that wasn't really true, was it? I mean, he does act coldly towards others and always distances himself from any kind of emotion. Yet, that doesn't make him a cold man. A cold person would be somebody who doesn't possess emotions, someone who is incapable of feeling and expressing them. It's often used when describing Sherlock Holmes, but it is very inaccurate. You see, Sherlock Holmes might act like an emotionless machine, but that's simply a façade. If you would get to know him, truly get to know him, you would realise how much love he's capable of feeling for a particular person. Not many can call themselves close to Sherlock, but the few who can, will be proud to be able to say it. When Sherlock cares about you, it's the most amazing feeling in the world. It means that the man who hates nearly everyone, who keeps his distance from others and despises showing emotions made an exception for you. And that's something to be proud of, I suppose.

You were one of those exceptions. To be completely honest, you were the most special one. You had gotten closer to Sherlock than anyone had ever managed to do. Never had he loved somebody as much as he loved you. Your relationship was strong and genuine and you loved spending time with each other. You loved him so much and he loved you even more, but he rarely showed it to you. That eventually started to cause some problems. You didn't feel appreciated, you didn't feel loved. You felt like he wasn't fully committed to being in a relationship with someone and that hurt. Sherlock, for example, didn't complement you often. He also rarely touched you when you were in public and would always keep some distance between the two of you. Maybe it was to keep up his act of being the cold man people claimed he was or maybe he truly was that man. This wasn't the case, of course, but it was how you started to feel at some point in your relationship.

It caused you to grow more distant as well. You didn't speak as often anymore, you didn't really try to initiate conversations with him anymore and you spent more time at Mrs Hudson's flat than your own. The detective didn't quite notice it at first, but after a while, he felt this weird feeling nagging at him. He couldn't identify it at first and simply blamed it on the lack of cases, but eventually, realisation hit him. He missed you. You were still his girlfriend, but he missed you and that's when he realised what he had been doing all along and how it had affected you. He felt guilty for neglecting you and for not trying harder to understand you. He wanted to make it up to you, but he was afraid that it was already too late.

He looked for you all day that day, but couldn't find you anywhere. He had realised his mistakes too late and that would forever haunt him. You were the first and only woman he had ever grown to love the way he did. But he couldn't keep himself from going back to his old ways and that eventually lead to you leaving him. Sherlock didn't know what to do anymore. The pain and sorrow were drowning him and he knew only one way to let it out.

He decided to put it on paper. It started as a note to you, but it soon transformed into a love song. If you'd be unaware of the story, the song wouldn't have the same meaning. That song was what he felt in his heart. There was sadness hidden in the lyrics and pain hidden in his voice whenever he sang it. It was the only way he could explain it, but he had no one to explain it to. You were gone and nowhere to be found. He had messed up and there was no turning back.

Until one day... It was a long and sorrowful search, but he found you. You weren't ready to be confronted by him, but he didn't give you any other choice.

The search for the right words was agonising. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't deliver his message to you in the way he wanted to. He couldn't express the emotions he felt. So he started singing his song. The song he had written because he saw no other solution to let it all out in a proper way. And while he was singing it, you realised what he had been trying to say all along. You finally understood.

Sherlock Holmes was a difficult man to be with. He realised that too, but it didn't matter. Not even a little. You only needed to know one thing and that thing was whether he cared or not. And he did. He cared more than any song could ever tell you and you realised that now. You understood why it was so hard for him to tell you this each and every day. And no matter how much it bothered you sometimes, it would never be able to break you up again. Because the love was there and you were aware of it. You would be aware of it until the end of your days.

Warm, loving, caring, smart, handsome and not alone anymore. That is Sherlock Holmes.