Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Intertwined

A songfic of the song Intertwined by Dodie Clark was requested by Alywright3. I based this imagine off of Dodie's meaning behind the lyrics she wrote. This is probably the most self-relatable oneshot I have ever written and I put a lot of time and effort into this, so I truly hope that I managed to transfer the message of the song into my writing well. I hope you like it. ♥

Please, do not read this if you're easily triggered. I wish you all no harm. 

~***~

Skin, Heat

Hair in your mouth

Feet touching feet

Emptiness. That was all you felt these days. At first, sadness and anger seemed to cloud your mind on a daily basis, but as the days went by, they slowly faded away and nothingness took its chance to rule. It was horrible. Getting out of bed in the morning was the hardest part of your day. Being around people and having to wear a mask that resembled happiness all day was a close second. You hated asking people for help and bothering them with your problems. You deemed it unnecessary and simply awful. Talking about the way you felt was an impossible task for you and you avoided it as much as you possibly could. Pretending to be happy around others had proven itself to be the best solution to the problem of having to talk. No one ever noticed that you were truly miserable on the inside. No one suspected a single thing despite the evident proof that something was wrong.

Oh you, And I

Safe from the world

Though the world will try

But then a man named Sherlock Holmes came along. He saw straight through the façade you put up each day. When you and he first met, he was so intrigued by you. The way you carried yourself, your intelligence and especially how you managed to hide your pain so well were obvious factors which caused the start of him developing sentimental feelings for you. And over the past few months where he had gotten to know you better, he was finally able to identify those feelings as love. Sherlock, the self-proclaimed sociopath, had fallen in love with you. He saw the pain, the loneliness and the emptiness you faced every day and guilt soon began to show its ugly face. He had grown to love you so, so much that he couldn't bear to see you go through this kind of mental torture. He was prepared to do anything if it meant making you feel better. So, he decided to do what Sherlock Holmes does best, confront you and offer his assistance.

Oh, I'm afraid of the things in my brain

But we can stay here

And laugh away the fear

At first, you were reluctant to tell him, but as soon as you saw the whirlwind of emotions in his eyes, you spilt everything. You even confessed that you were in love with the detective. There were no longer any secrets between the two of you and thus your relationship began. Sherlock was there for you every single minute of every single day and the love between the two of you kept growing. He made you feel alive again and created genuine smiles on your face in the simplest ways. 

It was supposed to be something good, but it turned out as the exact opposite. You became completely dependent on him and soon, your relationship turned toxic.

Numb, Fine

You create a rarity of my genuine smiles

Your mental state was much worse than Sherlock had ever expected it to be. That became evident as your relationship progressed. You needed him in order to feel something, it didn't matter what. You became incredibly dependant on him and shared your dark thoughts with him all the time. Sherlock tried so hard to take care of you and help you through this hard period in your life, but eventually, he started to crumble. Your thoughts began to influence him and he found himself on the destructive path of depression. He struggled to keep his head above the water and keep himself from drowning, but you kept dragging him down. You didn't know you were doing that, or else you would've left instantly. Hurting other people was something you were always afraid of, it was why you usually kept your distance from others. But Sherlock had become an exception to your rule and you were doing what you had been afraid of all your life without even knowing it. Sherlock's mood changed, as did his behaviour and the air that surrounded you began to slowly suffocate him. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to end it.

So breathe

Breathe with me

Can you drink all my thoughts

Cause I can't stand them

Ooh, oh, o-oh, oh, oh

It was the hardest and most painful thing he ever had to do, but it was the only way he could save himself from the inevitable destruction that would follow. He had to end your relationship. With pain in his heart, he spoke the words and watched as your face fell. Tears filled your eyes as you tried to think of reasons. The only thing on your mind was that you had done something wrong and heartbreaking guilt overwhelmed you as your thoughts raced through your mind, making it impossible for you to think clearly. 

You didn't wait for an explanation, you didn't dare look in his eyes. If you had, you would've seen his pain and you would've understood why he had to break up with you. But you didn't. You didn't look him in the eyes, instead, you ran. You ran far away from 221B, drowning in the suffocating pain and sorrow you still felt after all those years. It had to end. Every fibre in your body begged anyone who would listen for it to end. You couldn't take it any longer. It hurt. It hurt so, so much.

Intertwined, Free

I've pinned each and every hope on you

I hope you don't bleed with me

Silence. That was all anyone could hear. His sobs had quieted down, but silent tears still showed the agony he felt. The deep, red colour of the roses stood out against the pale snow as they rested against your headstone. The remorse blinded the detective as his shaking hands reached out to your name written on the black stone. His fingers brushed against the golden letters. His tears created small circles in the snow as they fell. Pain was all he could feel right now. He had made a horrible, selfish decision in order to save himself. Never in a million years would he have thought it'd be the end of your life. He missed your dazzling smile and regretted every choice he had ever made. All he wanted was for you to be standing next to him, alive and happy. But that was something that would never happen again.

I'm afraid of the things in my brain

But we can stay here

And laugh away the fear

Regret would forever be something the detective felt. Consumed by guilt, he slowly tried to pick his life back up and live in order to remember you. Your relationship had been toxic. It had driven the both of you into an endless depression, a deep, dark pit of loneliness and despair. Sherlock did what every human capable of thinking would do, he chose the way out in order to save himself. It came at the cost of your life and that would forever be a burden he'd carry. But he had survived.

And that's what every human attempts to do in their life because that's the rule. You either survive or you die trying. No exceptions. None at all. 

Hmm, hmm

Hmhmm