Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Unforgivable

Requested by NoImNotMishaCollins

A huge thank you to my amazing friend, ebba_explorer. She helped me with the start of this oneshot. I have been in the worst writing mood this week and I still am, but she always inspires me to try anyway. If you ship Johnlock and are interested in reading fanfics about it, she has two lovely books on her account. I highly recommend them ♥

~***~

''Darling, we need to talk.'' You looked up from your phone at hearing the urgency in his voice. ''Are you okay?'' You inquired. Sherlock shook his head. You instantly noticed something wasn't right. His eyes were red and slightly puffy, he didn't look at you and his hands were trembling. You had learnt some deduction skills over the years and you immediately knew he was hiding something from you. ''There's something you're not telling me. What is it?'' You put your phone in your pocket and gave him your full attention. A small voice in your mind told you that this wasn't going to be an easy pill to swallow. ''I did something.'' He started, still not looking at you. ''Something bad.'' 

You couldn't figure out where this was headed, so you kept quiet and let him speak, no matter how much time he needed. Tears formed in his eyes as he finally dared to look at you. ''I'm so sorry.'' He choked, trying to hold it together. ''What did you do, Sherlock?'' You were scared of what his answer would be, but you had to know. You deserved the truth, no matter how much it would hurt. ''I wasn't thinking when it happened.'' He stammered, avoiding your question. ''And I promise it will never happen again. I love you, (N/N). It was a mistake. I'm so sorry.'' A few tears rolled down his cheeks, but you didn't feel bad for him. Your mind was racing, thinking about all the possible things he could've done that would make him feel so guilty. ''What did you do?'' You spoke slowly. He looked at you, eyes filled with regret. ''I cheated on you.'' He whispered. You shook your head in disbelief. ''No. No, tell me that this is another one of your silly experiments, Sherlock. You wouldn't do that to me.'' You begged. ''It's not an experiment, (Y/N). I'm so, so sorry.'' Your hands went up to your head, clutching it as the words sank in. Tears spilt from your eyes as you kept shaking your head. It had to be a dream. This couldn't be happening to you.

Sherlock reached for you, wanting to comfort you, but you took a step back. ''W-Why would you do that to me? Am I n-not enough for you? Was that it?'' He didn't answer you, frustrating you more. ''JUST ANSWER ME, SHERLOCK!'' You yelled. Keeping it together was impossible. All kinds of negative emotions hit you all at once and the whole situation was overwhelming you. You just couldn't believe it. ''I'm sorry.'' He croaked. You shook your head, your hands now hanging down loosely alongside your body. ''No.'' You muttered. 

You didn't know what you could possibly say. You needed a moment to yourself to figure it out or else you would crumble. Not seeing him for a while would offer you enough clarity to figure out what your next step would be. However, you doubted you would ever be able to forgive your boyfriend for what he did. The tense atmosphere in the room was suffocating you and you ran out of the flat, ignoring Sherlock's pleas. You just had to get out there.

Sherlock was left alone in his flat, dumbfounded and heartbroken. He realised that what he did was wrong, but he genuinely thought that you would forgive him if he'd tell you and apologised. Never did it cross his mind that you would deny his apologies and leave. No, you loved him. Why would you do that? It didn't make sense in his mind and it broke his heart to see you leave. The guilt had only intensified when he saw the hurt expression on your face. He thought of ways to make it up to you, but couldn't find any. If an apology wasn't going to work then what would? He decided to leave you alone for a while. Maybe you just needed some space until you could forgive him? Sherlock truly hoped that was the case, but doubts lingered in the back of his mind. With pain in his heart, he went to bed alone for the first time in two years.

***

You slammed the door shut in his face. The door blocked him from view, but his begging could still be heard in your hotel room. You sank to the floor as you broke down. There wasn't a single fibre in your body capable of forgiveness. You had tried to forget about it and go back living happily ever after with Sherlock, but that wasn't right. He would only hurt you again and again. That was something you simply couldn't take. It was over between you two. You were so hurt by his roguery. It would take a while to get over him, but you hoped that if you kept your distance from him, you'd be able to move on and stop the pain. His actions were unforgivable no matter how many promises he made, no matter how many times he'd apologise. There was simply no way of making it right.

The begging and crying on the other side of the door died down. The only thing breaking the silence was the sound of your ragged breathing as you tried not to cry again. You got up from the floor and went to bed, not caring that it was in the middle of the afternoon. Exhaustion soon overtook you and you fell asleep.

~Two Years Later~

You hummed the song that had been stuck in your head all day as you made your way home. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it wasn't cold in London for once. You were losing yourself in a pleasant daydream when all of a sudden, you heard a familiar voice call your name. You turned around to see who it was. As soon as your eyes met his, you regretted your decision. You wished you could turn around and make a run for it, but he was already standing in front of you, smiling slightly. ''Hi, (N/N).'' Sherlock greeted.

His voice brought back all the memories of a few years ago and tears formed in your eyes. You thought you had moved on, but he proved you wrong by simply greeting you. All the hurt he put you through came flooding back. After two years, it still hurt. You had loved him so, so much. He was the love of your life and back then, you were convinced you'd be together until the end of your days. He was your soulmate, but he screwed up. You weren't going to lie to yourself, you missed him a lot during those two years, but you found yourself thinking about him less and less. But seeing him again brought it all back up and it seemed like you were back where you started, heartbroken and alone.

You didn't dare look at him for longer than a second. You kept staring at your shoes, hoping he'd get the message and leave, but he didn't. He was still the ignorant man he once was when it came down to another person's feelings.

You felt his hand grab yours and your head shot up, eyes wide. ''I'm sorry. I truly am, (Y/N).'' You pulled your hand back. ''That doesn't make it okay, Sherlock.'' You croaked. He shook his head. ''I know it doesn't.'' He muttered. A few tears rolled down your cheeks and you hurriedly wiped them away, not wanting to cry in front of him. ''I-I have to go.'' You stammered. You turned around and hurriedly walked away from him, not wanting to be around him for another second. You didn't even look behind you again or properly say goodbye. That was simply impossible for you to do. With tears in your eyes and pain in your heart, you went back to your flat. The day had been ruined.