Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

Confession

Requested by just_cloud 

I hope you are all enjoying the oneshots so far. This book has been my life and devotion since September 2016 and I am so happy that I have gotten so far! There are literally no words to express how grateful I am and how much I love you all. Thank you so much for more than 180K reads on this book. It still blows my mind each and every day that I have reached such an incredible milestone! Thank you ♥

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Whenever she'd smile, I would too. Whenever she was around, my powers of deduction would fail me. Whenever she'd look at me, my cheeks heat up and I'd make a fool of myself. No matter how many times I tried to forget about the weird sensation in my stomach whenever I'd hear her voice, it would never go away. And it only got worse and worse each day. At first, I had no clue what was happening to me and why. I was convinced someone had poisoned me. But after months of analysing my symptoms and reading endless articles on the internet, I finally made the correct conclusion. Sentiment. The emotion I had tried to avoid all my life, just like my brother had taught me, had caught up with me. It was drowning my mind and ability to think rationally with its sickening effects and no matter how hard I tried, I could not get rid of it. I had approached different solutions to my problem. At first, I tried isolating myself from her for two consecutive weeks, but I only ended up more miserable than I was before that. I missed seeing her, hearing her and being with her all the time. I deemed the treatment as a failure and tried the next thing that came to my mind. I instantly regretted it. I was desperate to get rid of my feelings for her and I thought that maybe making her hate me would be the solution. I said awful things to her, things that I could never mean. It didn't take long before tears started to roll down her cheeks. I crumbled right then and there. Guilt took over and I apologised for ten minutes straight, hoping she'd forgive me. She eventually did after I embraced her and literally begged her for her forgiveness. Afterwards, I was so disgusted by myself for letting my emotions take control and acting so sentimental that I locked myself up in my bedroom for three days. Isolation still turned out to be a horrible solution to my problem and only seemed to make the feeling worse. I had to think of something to make it stop, but I couldn't. So, I gave in.

There was no denying it anymore. I was in love with (Y/N) and no matter what I'd do, that wasn't going to stop anytime soon. But then the unexpected happened. The minute I gave into my feelings and no longer denied them to myself, I began to genuinely enjoy them. It would only take her smile to put me in a better mood. Whenever I got stressed while working on a case, she'd place her hand on my shoulder and tell me that if anyone could do it, it was me. She was no longer a distraction and started to improve my work. When she'd come with me on a case, my deduction abilities were better than ever and any case would be solved in a matter of minutes. She brought up the best in me and I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

After a few weeks of working together with (Y/N), John confronted me. ''Sherlock, can I ask you something?'' He asked, sitting in his old chair. I nodded. ''Are you in love with (Y/N)?'' I nearly spit out my tea at the sudden accusation. ''Wh-Why would you think that?'' I stammered, not managing to hide the blush that formed on my cheeks. John smiled, knowing his deduction was correct. ''Mary and I have been noticing a few changes in your behaviour lately. Especially when (Y/N) is around.'' He explained. ''You seem a lot happier and whenever she's with us on a case, you seem to be showing off a lot more than usual.'' A small smile tugged on my lips. I could not hide it any longer. Just thinking about her made my heart beat faster. John noticed and smiled widely. ''You are so in love with her, mate! I'd never thought I'd get to see this.'' He exclaimed. ''You gotta tell her!'' My eyes widened and I rapidly shook my head. ''No!'' I said rather loudly. ''I don't want her to deny me and stop spending time with me.''

''Sherlock, for a consulting detective, you're really blind,'' John stated, getting up to leave. ''What's that supposed to mean?'' I asked, offended. ''She likes you, Sherlock. So, tell her.'' And with those last words, he exited my flat, leaving me alone and confused. Every part of me wanted to tell her how I felt, so I'd be able to do what I had been dreaming off so long. Just being able to kiss or hug her would be enough to make me the happiest man in this world. But I feared rejection. If she didn't reciprocate my feelings for her and I'd confess, she might never want to see me again. That couldn't happen. I didn't know what I would do without her. But what if John was right? Was I really too blind to see her true feelings for me? I had never been able to deduce her, so maybe it was true. No, it couldn't be. A woman as kind, beautiful and genuine as (Y/N) could never love someone like me. Could she?

I thought about all the possibilities, but one of them stood out. I had to confess my feelings for her. She'd probably deny me, but it was worth a shot. Every inch of my skin craved to touch her. I just had to do it, I could no longer hide my feelings. I had to let them out, no matter the possible consequences. I jumped up and swiftly put on my coat. The only thing I could do now was hope for the best result. I ignored my nerves and hailed a cab, directing it to her flat.

My fist floated in the air as I stared at her door. I could still run and she'd never know I was here. I'd never have to face rejection from her if I didn't tell her. My thoughts drifted to an image of one of the dreams I had of her wherein she had kissed me. That was all the persuasion I needed. My fist collided with the door multiple times before I quietly waited for her to open it. It only took three seconds before my eyes met hers. My lips immediately formed a smile. ''Sherlock! What a lovely surprise.'' She grinned, holding the door open so I could enter. ''What brings you here?'' She asked, looking up at me. My hands were shaking and I hid them behind my back as I took a deep breath, preparing myself for her reaction. ''I-I came here to tell you, uh, something,'' I announced. (Y/N) nodded, a gesture for me to continue. I bit my lip, thinking about the correct phrasing. ''I have a confession to make,'' I muttered, trying my best to maintain eye contact. ''Go ahead.'' She said, waiting patiently until I was ready. ''I'm in love with you.'' I blurted out, mentally slapping myself afterwards for being so blunt.

Her mouth fell open as she stared at me, wide-eyed. ''Y-You love me?'' She stammered, seeking confirmation. I nodded. ''I have for a while now,'' I admitted. My face showed utter fear as I waited for her to do something. I expected her to slap me and kick me out, but what she actually did was so much better. Before I had the chance to comprehend what was going on, her arms were wrapped around my neck and she pulled me in for a passionate kiss. It was like all my senses were numb and like the only things that existed were me and her. The kiss was better than I could have ever imagined it to be. My hands held her waist firmly as I pulled her even closer to me. Her fingers held onto the curls at the nape of my neck, causing me to groan in delight. We eventually pulled away for some oxygen. I stared at her and she stared back, still holding each other tightly. We both suddenly burst out laughing. ''I was not expecting that to be the reason for your unexpected visit.'' She giggled. ''Surprise!'' I laughed. She pressed a soft kiss on my lips before resting her head on my chest, losing herself in my embrace. ''I love you, too.'' She mumbled.