When I Felt Beautiful

hands up

I was terrified. I even thought I was going to throw up just waiting in line. The roller coaster was towering above me and you. For the first time ever, not everything felt fine with your hand in mine.

"It's so tall! It's so upside-downy..." I tipped my head to the side, and let out a shaky breath.

"Ainsley, you need to chill," you squeezed my hand and looked me in the eyes. In that moment I think you realized that I wasn't as brave as I had always seemed... or maybe you accepted me. It was hard to tell. "You can do this."

My eyes widened as the large contraption cast a shadow over me. We were moving closer to the front of the line.

"Ains," you insisted, "I know you... you're going to love this!"

I stopped glaring at the roller coaster, and started glaring at you. I was gripping your hand so tightly that you probably couldn't even feel it.

"I hate you."

"No you don't." You were grinning.

That smile was plastered across your face as we strapped ourselves to the seats. I didn't let go of your hand as we went up, up, up...

And suddenly we were going down, and you were shouting with joy as I screamed with terror. You forced our held hands in the air during the biggest drop, but by then I wasn't scared anymore.

Feeling the wind and seeing the world blur around me, the grip of your hand felt steady as the wind rushed around it.

I felt alive as my stomach dropped.

When we stumbled off the ride I grinned from ear to ear.

"I feel like I can do anything now!" I whooped and hollered, jumping around a little bit.

I felt beautiful on my adrenaline high.