good vibes

things that still make me salty

•the fact that my local kfc is currently out of sporks. like, who the fuCk runs out of sporks when there are wings to be eaten! how am i supposed to eat my mashed taters without a spork, huh? and what are wings without mashed taters, hUh? at least they had salt packets

•the fact that people tell me that dimmu borgir sucks and i need to put on music they know the words to, then they get pissed when i play 'call me maybe--death metal remix'. i mean, you know the lyrics, right? ffs

•the fact that i can't get past wave 8 on c.o.d. zombies because my friends intentionally die to piss me off

•the fact that i never can find guitar picks, bobby pins or socks

•the fact that i always lose my place in a book if i use a bookmark, but people yell at me not to dogear the pages

•when people beat me at something even though i'm clearly surperior at it

•the fact that my friends once handcuffed me with real sfpd (alcatraz, actually) cuffs to a swingset and left to get food. it started raining. they still have a video somewhere and video footage makes me extra salty

•the fact that i will never get to see any of my bands play because their dumb asses all broke the bands up

•the fact that every band i poured my soul into broke up
>or died

•the fact that 2016 existed

•the fact that chris has yet to answer my question. two and a half weeks makes me salty bro. if you're reading this and haven't transcended your physical form, TEXT ME BACK FFS

•the fact that my fav author pretended to quit wattpad for months only to return in all her glory and i wasn't told she was back for a w e e k

•the fact that my old bud tb and i never kept up, and the fact that it's not his fault, it's mine and i hate being responsible for things

•the fact that hayley didn't do the april fool's day prank i suggested

•the fact that shampoo and conditioner never run out at the same time

•the fact that my friends call my white, unmarked van i drive "the child abducting van" in public. you can not imagine the stares people give us

•the fact that my friends take advantage of their height and pick me up and/or drag me around. especially the fact that one time we were in a parking lot late at night and one of them spun me around until they "accidentally" let go, and i went flying. across pavement. t h e s a l t

•the fact that my friends are actually the worst, most shitty, hoes ever, but i still love them

•the fact that my guitars smell like cigarette smoke

•the fact that i have bad luck rving, and yet it is my life passion. i sometimes roll off the top bunk and often yank the fridge door off the hinges. there was this one time i was trying to get cereal from a top cabinet, and the table i was standing on collapsed, which made me break the cabinet. it hit me in the face and i fell

•the fact that sometimes when i can't sleep i find myself repeating the perioidic table of the elements because i used to have a poster of them and read them before bed

•the fact that when magicians or hypnotists need a volunteer from the crowd, they always zero in on me.

•the fact that wattpad double spaces shit on the laptop version

•the fact that my favorite band announced their retirement, and i was literally planning to see them this year. i'll never get over this

•the fact that i never have any snacks in my house even though i see them go through the checkout and i see them on the receipt and i put them away and voilà. gone