good vibes

· reasons i'd be a great groupie ·

everyone else was doing it so i had to jump on the bandwagon (get it?)

it's written to the band guy I'm groupie-ing, so i use the "you". the you doesn't refer to you. unless you need a groupie for hire, in which case, hmu.

this is more reasons i'd be a great band-girlfriend and not a groupie, because, let's face it--i do, contrary to common belief, feel the human spectrum of emotions on occasion and i would likely get attached to an attractive band member after a while. i'm a long term girl.

49 because it's my lucky fucking number

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1. i can memorize the lyrics to every song ever and i will screech them as loud as i can

2. i'll read to you

3. i respond to any name. even ones like "hoe" or "whore" (thanks, grace)

4. i won't mind if you smoke on the bus.

5. drugs and drinks are ok with me as long as you don't kill yourself. i am drugs and grace cannot steal this quote which my own mind birthed.

6. if you're sad i'm a good comforter

7. i'm always down to do whatever. carnival? ok. sledding? ok. dig a hole to hide a body in? ok. dig a hole to fit the bodies of your bandmates in? ok. like if you want to do things i will accompany you willingly.

8. i'm a vicious fighter and will do anything to preserve your face.

9. i can play guitar and bass and stuff so you know we have a common bond

10. i'm like a walking advertisement for your band. i love me some merch.

11. i'm light so you can pick me up and spin me around. but i'm also strong so if you're fairly light and small i can pick you up too. pls use this talent with caution and do not drop me in water or dust or dirt or mud or dirty laundry or pavement or any combination of those things.

12. i'm a sick hair stylist and trimmer and stuff. i will dye, trim, and style your do. hope you like ponytails.

13. i always have snacks. you're hungry? let's see what i have in my purse. oh, here's an entire bag of cheetos, a slice of cake and chinese takeout leftovers. and some cough drops.

14. i'm not into the one night stand thing so we can totally make this a regular thing. you don't have a bunk for me on the bus? no worries, i'll sleep on the roof. not enough food? i've got my own, don't worry man. too much hassle? guys, guys. it's not hassle for me at all.

15. i look cute sitting on guitar amps

16. pretty sure i'd also look cute in a music video. why don't you and the band film one so we can see

17. i will drive the bus for you :D :D you can trust me :D

18. not into the whole "groupie for all the band" thing. i'm a one guy kind of girl. it's just me and your hot ass. and our 17 cats.

19. i'll never not be down to play videogames with you. i'll smoke your ass but you'll forgive me i'm sure .

20. loyal asf. creepy fans? I got this.

21. i'm funny! (see? that's a great joke. i laughed)

22. i could care less about your money and money in general as long as you give me merch and food and let me go to concerts all the time, free of charge.

23. i respond positively to affection. i may even share my fries with you. 1 hug = 1 fry.

24. i will fite anyone and everyone for any reason, for you. idc if your bandmate is six foot two and can break a cinder block in half with his left eyebrow, i will fight him over something as insignificant as a can of tuna.