Smooth Criminal // Ryden

Burn

Brendon and I were getting ready for bed that same night.

"Why do you like me?" I ask out of the blue.

"pardon?"

"I asked why you like me. Why'd you choose me over dallon? Out of all people?" I ask swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I like you because you're sweet. You don't care what other people think of you. Why would you ask a thing like that?"

Dallon's words from earlier have been getting into my head. It seemed right. He only likes me because he feels bad for me.

"Lies. It's all lies."

"Ryan, what are you talking about?" the concern in his voice grew.

"Come on Brendon. Don't lie to me. The only reason you're with me is because you feel bad for me. Admit it!" I raised my voice at him. It wasn't until afterwards that I see the look on his face. The hurt, the helplessness.

Just like I saw in Tyler at the jail.

"Why would you say that?" his voice was quiet, you could hear the sadness in it.

I looked away from him. I couldn't look at him like that. It hurt me too.

"I'm nothing. I'm worthless. You could do better than me."

"That's not true. I love you. There. I said it. Happy?"

The word 'love' gripped at my throat. I repeated it over and over in my head.

"You don't mean that."

"I do!" his voice sounded more angry than sad now. I felt his hand on my arm, but I quickly retreated it from his touch. "Don't touch me." I mumble.

He slowly pulls his hand back hurt, "why are you acting like this?"

"Because. You hurt me."

"Fine! You want to be like that then you can leave!"

I turn to face him, "What?"

He crossed his arms, "you heard me." he pointed to the door "get out."

I retreat out of the house with anger bubbling inside my stomach. More like a mixture of anger and sadness.

"I hope you burn in hell Ryan Ross!" was the last thing I heard him yell before slamming the door on me.

I've never yelled at anyone like that.

I walked out of the house checking my pockets. Brendon's spare car key was in there.

I look at the key, then the car in front of me.

Fuck it.

I got in the car and started it. I've only driven his car once, and it was to the grocery store 5 minutes away.

I took a deep breath remembering all the steps and start it, slowly backing out of the driveway.

And next thing i know, I'm on the road.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I hit the steering wheel out of anger. How could I let this happen?

I pulled up to a gas station close by and walk in with all the money I have.

"What'll 10 bucks get me?"

The cashier man got out a medium size bottle of booze and gave it to me in exchange for the money.

"can i see ID?" he asked.

"Fuck off." i tossed the money on the counter and left. I was angry, and don't have a legal ID anymore.

I get in the car and open the bottle, quickly chugging the acidic substance.

It burned as it trailed down my throat, I haven't had a good amount of liquor in awhile.

I swallow and pant looking at the bottle. Halfway done. I set it in the passenger side and start the car up again.

Obviously this isn't a good idea, but what do i care anymore. Everything that happens in my life i just fuck up anyways.

I'm driving down the highway swerving and jerking my wheel. I can't see straight, my thoughts aren't together. I see random lights everywhere. Random colors..

Red, blue, red, blue.

{A/N: henlo it me.

wow.

I was listening to the Hamilton song 'Burn' when i thought of this chapter. Hence the title ¯\_ツ_/¯

don't forget to smile :D

~L <3 }