Is Phan Real?

Chapter 7

Over the course of the next month it seemed like Dan and I were avoiding each other constantly. If we opened our doors at the same time he would close his and wait for me to go back to my room before he would come out. I still wasn't doing any live shows filming anything and neither was Dan. He had been the one that was talking about how we need to make videos because it helps people. It is true what he said, but if I don't feel happy I don't want to have to pretend to be.

It felt like I had already quit YouTube and that weren't talking anymore. Just the other day we were laughing and playing games. Dan gave me a hug and for once it wasn't for the views. He actually hugged me and now I'm sounding like some crazy fan girl. The moment his arms wrapped around me kept replaying in my head.

(Dan's POV)

Two months without uploading is not anything new, but also no live shows. This past four weeks I've missed and I had no reason to other than the fact that I'm upset about Alexis. I don't even know what to feel at this point, she still hasn't called me. There's no reason for her to contact me though. I don't even know what's wrong with Phil he just walked off after I suggested that he was trying to date someone.

I head out to the hallway and see the dog that I once kinda stole and pet for an hour. I give him a quick pet and pull out my phone while I head to the elevator. Staring at the contact I finally decide to hit the call button when I get to the lobby. It rings 5 times and just before I give up I hear her voice, "Hello" she asks in the form of a question.

"Hey, uhm I didn't think you were going to answer to be honest"

"Then why did you call? Actually forget that. Come over."

"Yeah sure"

She immediately ended the call the second I agreed as if she was in a rush. I don't know what to expect is going to happen, but I have to make the best of it since it might be the only chance I have to explain myself. Since I've been getting a lot more alone time lately I've been thinking about my life before I quit college. I had hung out with Alexis most of the time and there were rumors going around that we were dating at the time. It wasn't like in the cute way though they were calling us like the nerdy couple or something. I also remember one of her friends or something constantly trying to get me to kiss her or ask her out. In that moment I realized that maybe she did really like me and my stupid incident isn't going to mess anything up.

With that thought in mind I start walking ever so slightly faster. It felt like I just realized something very important, but it's kinda silly if you think about it too much. I get to her floor and I'm only a few doors down when I start to get really nervous. I have no idea what I'm going to say to her other than sorry. I can't just give up here I think to myself as I'm standing in front of her door. I'm about to knock when she opens it and pulls on my arm to bring me in.

"Hey?"

She doesn't respond, but instead embraces me and our lips suddenly touch. It was a lot more passionate than our first, but it still didn't feel right. I don't deserve this so I try to pull away but her grip just tightened around me and I got lost in her. It was as if we were a couple that hadn't seen each other in a long time, but not as cute especially me. I can feel her trying to guide me to the couch and I do my best to step back and finally pull away. I started to get anxiety thinking of how far she was willing to go. I take a couple quick breaths and take a step back.

"I don't know what to say" I blurted.

"I'm really sorry. I just really couldn't help myself. I've been wanting to kiss you like this for years" she admits while adjusting her short fitted dress.

"For years" I question. I could feel my face turning red.

"I tried telling you the first day we got together, but that did go well. I knew I liked you the day I met you. I always wanted to know what it would feel like to touch you and kiss you and most of all I wanted to love you. You were the reason I wanted to study hard. All I wanted to do was impress you. You didn't notice, but now I know why."

In the moment all the feelings and thoughts come rushing back to me. I remember wanting to impress her too, but I knew I couldn't because I was leaving.

"I liked you then too and I still like you now. I'm sorry for how stupid I've been lately" I finally admit and it felt as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I step closer to her filling in the gap between us.

"You really mean that?"

"Yes" I respond while softly taking her hand in mine. I kissed her cheek and she kissed my neck.

"Let's stop talking" she said in a whisper while looking up to me.

Her arms wrapped around me again and she started to kiss me again. I run my hands up and down her back gently and I can feel her grasping on the hem of my shirt slightly pulling it up. I felt really uncomfortable since my body isn't exactly fit especially after being inside for months. I too then reach for the hem of her dress and pull it up only slightly. I wasn't sure what to do or how far I should go so I let her lead. A few moments later she tugged up on my shirt and I pulled away and lifted my arms for her. My shirt was off and I thought for sure she would be disgusted, but she quickly pressed her lips against mine and her fingertips ran up and down my sides. I tug on the hem of her dress again, but this time I pull it up to her thighs. Her skin was so soft I couldn't stop myself from gathering the rest of the dress and taking it off of her. I didn't even think for a second that she would reject it.

I could feel her starting to step back, but I kept following and kissing her. I pull away for a moment and she takes my hand and we head to her bedroom. I finally get a full image of her body and it's beautiful I couldn't stop staring. I sit on the edge of the bed as she wraps her legs around my waist making me lay on my back. Again we started making out, but this time it felt more aggressive. I felt her hands fidgeting at the zipper of my pants.

This was the moment I realized it wasn't a dream and I was going to have my first time. It's not something I really cared to think about, but I'm truly happy it's with my first crush and I know it will be special.