Lies, Sex, And Pills: The untold Story of Brè Howard

Birdie and I

There is always a black sheep in every family even if the family doesn't admit it. In my family atleast on my moms side it was always me because of my last name. You see, believe or not my mom and dad were married and my mom had my sister Robin hence the name of this chapter being called the birdie and I. See my older sister was named after my father. Little to anyone's knowledge I've always asked myself why didn't she name me after him. After all he was my biological father so "what the hell mom" is what I always said in my head. Me and Robin growing up was like oil and water. You see Robin is the one with both book sense and common sense when she wants to use it. Now me on the other hand I don't really have either but I try my best to use them even though my brain is very great when I want to use it. As children, growing up we have given my mom and still do a lot of hell. We argue and shit sometimes even get into physical altercations. Nothing beats that fight on the Marta train or the one we had when we had just moved into the apartment and we put like three holes in the wall. I could go on for days about all the bad stuff. Now don't get me wrong me and my sister had a lot of good times. Well more good time than bad. I mean we played spades or dominos together. She would always help me out when I needed it. We would be sisterly sometimes and then other times we couldn't stand each other. I think that me and my sister can both agree that she doesn't know how to hold water when it comes to me or atleast about certain stuff the only thing she kept her mouth closed about was the biggest thing that happened to me in my life because other stuff I didn't bother to tell her. Shit some stuff till this day the only person that knows is god and my best friend. Cause I never really trusted her with certain information. The moment I became pregnant I was scared of atleast when I found out I was. But it's like everyone but me knew well I can say everyone but my grandmother Shirley she knew. She just didn't want to say anything. My sister kept it quiet and I told my granny. You see the differences between all my grandparents I will get into later but let's just say it's a difference. But my sister held her mouth closed up until I told my mom who was mad as hell, and disappointed all at the same time. You see my sister really wanted me to keep the baby, hell she was excited about having something she can dress up and show off on instagram. Of course she was shocked, but the way I feel she always figured I would be the one to get pregnant first out the both of us. Now the decision was always left up to me what to do, and the difficult thing was the decision I knew I had to make as a grown woman. That decision would either haunt me or make me stronger but there is a whole chapter for that.