Lies, Sex, And Pills: The untold Story of Brè Howard

Georgia on my mind

" Georgia, Georgia? The whole day through. Just an old sweet song. Keeps Georgia on my mind."

This song holds a lot of place in my heart being that it's the state I was born in, but also that I listened to this song the night the storm came through. It was two weeks before Thanksgiving, and my life was a complete hell. In the middle of October leading up to that day things just weren't going right. I was stressed out from work all the time. I was working like there was no tomorrow trying to keep up with my house payments. Not to mention, I was also going crazy about keeping Landon happy, but that shortly came to an end one night. Friday, November 14, 2016 started off well because I was off from work. I spent that day with my dog Shadow. Getting off track for a second: For those who don't know, Shadow is the oldest out of all three of my dogs. She is very active but sweet. She, at the time was the reason I liked coming home, because I knew she would jump on me. I love her wet kisses, loud bark, and furry paws. She is the light of my world. Later on the other two came, but at that time it was just her and me. Back to the story though, I spent all day in bed, because I didn't have anywhere to go. Around three o'clock my grandmother called me to ask if I could pick up my uncle from school because she had a meeting to attend. Of course I said yes because the car that I was driving was a rental in his name. I went back to sleep after that conversation, and I woke up from a nightmare. That dream made me feel guilty, and I started seeing things. A week prior to that night I had came clean to Landon, and his home girl about what I had done. Landon blocked my number, and even unfollowed me on Snapchat. I was so desperate to get him to hear my side of the story that I ran to his apartment that night to try and talk to him, but he wasn't trying to hear it. In fact, he called the police on me, and they came to my house and told me to leave him alone. Ever since that night leading up to this Friday night, I had been having strange dreams. So coming back to the Friday of the 14th, everything was just building up to a boiling point. I reached out to Landon's home girl for help, but all she did was run her mouth to Landon about everything I said. Landon read me the riot act, and told me to stop contacting her immediately before he called the police again. After about twelve, I took my dog out for a walk, sat outside for a minute, watched Landon's truck drive by, and then I went in the house. These next events are so devastating, but they're the truth.

As I entered back in the house, I looked around my living room and started to cry. I was crying because the pain had built up, and I just was tired of being hurt, broken, used, and down right mistreated. At that point, I started rumbling through my drawers when I came across these two pill bottles. One was a prescription that was given to me by my doctor after my surgery, and the other was Keisha's bottle of promethazine pills. At first I tried to slit my wrist with a knife, and then I called my best friend to inform her of what I was trying to do. At the same time, Keisha was communicating with me as well, and I ended up giving my best friends number to Keisha to call. So after Dominique and I got off FaceTime, Keisha pulled up, and what neither one of them knew was that I had already taken the pills while I was on FaceTime with Dominique. I ensured Keisha that I was fine, and she was mad at me because she thought I was making light of the situation. After a few minutes, I went back in the house and placed the deadbolt lock on the door while also securing the door. At this point had consumed over sixty ibuprofens and two promethazine pills. I made myself a palette on the floor and laid back on my pillow while looking up at the ceiling listening to "Georgia on My Mind" by Ray Charles. Shadow was laying right next to me. I remember about ten minutes later getting up and going to lay in my bed, so I could finally fall asleep. The only thought that was running through my head at this point was the idea of getting to see my deceased cousin and uncle again. Honestly I felt them calling me home, and after everything that had happened I wanted to be with them permanently.