Lies, Sex, And Pills: The untold Story of Brè Howard

How the DJ played me a love song

Black diamonds is a place where you see the sexiest women go up and down a pole. No place for a girl of the church like myself. Wrong ! I never thought I would see myself working in a strip club, neither did my family but hey life happens. Black diamonds had a thing about it or maybe it was just the fact that it was the atmosphere. The DJ and I first meet on my second night working there. Mista and Him initiated me to the club. I found myself in between two light skinned men. LOL. As my time went on being at the club I grew close to him. People made jokes about us having sex with one another but we never minded it. We played around too. He wanted me I could feel it. I wanted him too, but I didn't want to mix it because I was still vulnerable to guys. After me and ken split, I kinda wanted to be by myself for a while. But when I met him everything changed. He made me feel different. He made me feel like I was floating on air. Like I couldn't be touch by anything bad. He made me feel...safe. I never thought I would be attractive to man like him. I always thought people would see me as a little kid but age wasn't a factor to him. When we first started all this, the rule was: no attachments; whatever happens happens. At first it was supposed to just be great friends who looked out for one another. We ended up starting fucking and my feelings for him grew stronger. It got to the point where I wanted him every night even though I couldn't see him. I had so much of my heart invested into the situation that I was completely blind to everything else. All I cared about was him and making sure he was happy.
July was a big month for me. His birthday was the ninth in that month and I had planned so much for his birthday. You see we all thought at the club that big Krit was coming, but unfortunately the owner of the club didn't book him. So, to make up for Dax's short coming I planned a whole party for that night. It cost me $700 dollars worth but it was worth every penny. To see the smile on his face gave me so much pleasure. That was when people at the club starting speculation about us. He told me "you know everybody going to think we are really fucking now" I just looked at him like I was sorry. I truly was though even though I saw him smile it dampened me to know I broke the one rule he gave which was keep our life private! No one at the club was every supposed to know me and him was messing around, but as time grew so did my feelings. I found myself at this point feeling a crack head waiting for their next fix. Like I said I became in love with a man I knew I couldn't have the way I wanted because I can always agree with him I was not ready for a relationship myself. And after everything that has happened I can agree with him when he said that I have a lot of growing up to do, and I learned that I had to grow up with out him in my life in order to get my life back. But there is always more to the story than it seems. Just wait on it.....