Lies, Sex, And Pills: The untold Story of Brè Howard

White walls and Phone Conversation

So as the day approached for me to sign wether or not I would go to the psychiatric ward or not, I didn't say much to anyone. I kept asking my mom about Landon, and of course she didn't want to talk about him. She would change the subject, or just ignore me.  When it came time for me to sign the papers it was a lot of stuff going through my head. Just the mere fact of me signing this means that I'm actually acknowledging that I did something crazy.  As they prepared my room in the psych ward I had the worst flashback ever, and it was too the conversation that me and Landon had the night I committed suicide. As I sat there and thought I had to remember one thing out the entire situation, and that was I was the cause of everything. It still had not really set in what was going on until my first meeting with my psychiatrist. She kept asking me about Landon, and honestly I didn't want to talk to her or anyone for that matter about him. I wasn't ready to come out in the open with the situation. As for me and him, well let's just say that we went through even more hell when I got out the hospital, but as for in that moment we were done. I didn't talk to anyone nor did I talk to the psychiatrist because I felt like they were getting paid to make me look crazy. When I was able to go home was the number one question in my mind.  At the end of the entire thing, I didn't come out anyway but the same way as I went in,  and the want for Landon grew stronger for me.