Cameron's Pov
I blinked slumped In the subway seat hearing all the loud noise my headphones plugged in and looking out the window at the fast passing things that were so blurred it would be really hard to guess what had just passed.
I looked down at my outfit in thought it's a pure mistake for me to he traveling back to South Korea when it's so easy for him to find me. I still to this day don't know why he still looks for me our why sometimes I long to see him so much but he is way too known now he wouldn't be able to find me never ever.
I'm too much of a danger for him, myself and others I have an impulse disorder which is a bad risk for my family friends and relationships that how my last relationship crumbled to the ground it was different then what I used to.
It was the first time I was with a guy never in my life would I think I was most safe with a guy but I was we had a small age difference maybe huge at the time I was 17 and he was 15 but we were together for so long.
I didn't care about are difference in age are race or are inexperienced with the same sex but we loved each other and I hated myself for always causing him hurt cause while he was working to build up his idol career, I was always having breakdowns were I was hurting myself to high levels of pain just crying and I would pass out.
Sometimes Jungkook would come to me crying in pain about how much it hurts him to see me in the way I was but I tried so hard for him I believe he was the one that I would marry get down on one knee for.
I was always worrying about my kookie I flicked my pain gaze around to see quite a few people curious looking at me or scrunching their nose up looking away its what you expect any black person to get from Koreans I thought bitterly when I flicked my gaze out the window leaning on my fist hard.
Jungkook's cute English or his cute English covers it all just hit me so hard in the gut and face leaving him pained me but after the last time I attacked out of relent on him he almost ended up in the hospital.
I slammed him into a mirror my disorders going way too far. I had started sobbing in shocked when Jungkook started crying curling up and I apologized so fast scooping him up and cleaning his wounds with tears cuddling him in bed.
I just kept apologizing to him that's when I came to conclusion. I can't keep hurting him like this. He needed someone better. He needed a pure person who wouldn't bring him down in life where I didn't need to be hidden from his member's big hit A.R.M.Y.
That night we spent one last night together we made love one last time every. I held Jungkook bare body to me kissing and creasing him tears leaving me when I whispered one last I love you kissing his temple and holding his limp hand in mine kissing it and with that, I had left leaving a sticky note with a last message.
Taking my stuff leaving him forever we started dating when he was a trainee and when we broke up was 2015 during their dope comeback. More like I left cause I didn't wanna see him hurt crying over me every night when he was stressed as it was with his activities Bts and management stressing over him.
It was a lot but I'll never ever forget Jeon Jungkook I thought bitterly wiping tears away showing signs of my already weak self. I let sniffle out and leaned back shutting my eyes the trip was still a little far till we got to Seoul and I was gonna stay at a hotel for quite a few days till I knew what I wanted back here in Seoul.
"I hope you remember the good that I did have Jungkook not the bad," I whispered breathlessly to myself.
