cold ♡ h.s. » au

Chapter 7

From this point on this book will contain triggering topics, you have been warned.

I woke up to the familiar scent of my own home, Harry had dropped me off late last night. I slowly made my way into my small kitchen, only to find a woman's head bent down in the fridge.

"Ellen!" My mom squealed, pulling me into a suffocating hug.

"How did you find my address?" I asked wide eyed.

"Your father and I have our ways," she winked while pulling out some milk.

I walked out into the living area to find my dad sprawled out on the small couch flipping through the channels.

"El! Look at you," he hopped up from his comfortable position to pull me into another suffocating hug.

"You two could of called before you.. invaded.." I mumbled.

"Lighten up, we just wanted to see our precious little pumpkin." he cooed while pinching my cheeks, making them flush.

I flashed a fake smile, and I quickly scurried back into my room. I brushed my leftover curls out, and washed the grime on my face from the previous day.

As I approached the living room I heard fits of laughter that had to be coming from more than my parents.

My parents were in awe of the curly headed boy that stood before them.

"Ellen! Introduce us," my mom urged on, I caught Harry smirk at her command.

"This is Harry,"

"Her boyfriend." Harry finished for me, causing my mom's smile to somehow get even more wide.

"Oh! You should stay until I cook lunch," my mom volunteered.

"Of course," he grinned while making his way over to my side.

My dad went back into the television, while my mom scurried off to the kitchen again.

"I'm  so sorry," I chuckled while rubbing my forehead.

"They're very chipper," he smiled. "What happened to you?"

I ignored his remark, "I already know that they have plans to interrogate you."

"Nothing new," he smirked.

"You still haven't told me on why you got arrested," I said while walking into my room, he followed.

"I don't know If I should tell you though," he raised an eyebrow.

"Come on," I poked his sides, causing him to give in.

"Got locked up for assault,"

"On who?" My brain was producing new questions every single second.

"Ask me another time," he pursed his lips.

"And you say I'm annoying," I rolled my eyes, getting back up from the bed.

"Lunch!" My mom yelled.

I piled my plate with the alfredo, also grabbing a water bottle.

I sat myself down to Harry, right across from my blue eyed mom.

She hasn't aged much since the last time I had seen her. She still sports the long blonde curls, like myself, but she has bangs.

"How did you two meet?" My mom didn't even hesitate to drop the first question before even looking at her plate.

"At a coffee shop," I stated while shoving down another bite of the alfredo.

My parents' eyebrows lifted as if they were interested.

"How is school going?" My dad asked.

"Great," I lied.

I dropped out until I can find online classes that will fit my recluse lifestyle.

The rest of lunch went by too slow, with too much dialogue.

Mom and Dad went out to tour the small capital, leaving Harry and I alone.

"I want to ask you some questions now," the corners of his lips turned upwards.

"Okay,"

"Are you an only child?"

"Sadly," I sighed.

"Who was your first time?"

There was no way I was answering that.

"I don't know," I lied.

"Really?" he chuckled. "Wait,"

"Wait, what?" I stuttered.

"Please tell me it wasn't me," I didn't answer. "Damn it!"

His fist went right into the small coffee table, causing a crack to go right down the middle. I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

"Now I feel like shit," he scoffed.

"You shouldn't,"

"I should, that night never should of happened."

Ouch.

I turned my face towards the television, biting down hard on my lip to keep the tears from spilling.

"I'm telling you the truth, I'm sorry.." he murmured.

"You can go now," I waved him off.

"Okay," he didn't put up a protest, he just simply walked away.

__________

"You've hardly touched your dinner," my mom said.

"I'm not all that hungry," I paused. "May I be excused?"

They nodded, it's crazy that I have to ask permission to leave the dinner table in my own home.

I grabbed my car keys and tried to drive to Harry's house by memory. I drove down the long gravel road. There was not only his car, but another one parked in the other vacant stop.

I opened the unlocked door and slowly crept into the living room, as I did there I heard some voices I didn't want to hear.

"You can leave now," Harry groaned.

"Or we could go back to what we were doing," Courtney whined.

"I didn't ask you to stalk my house, get the hell out." he shouted.

I scurried to the nearest bathroom, thankfully going unnoticed. As soon as I heard the door slam, I bolted.

The drive home was a drag, my thoughts were consuming me.

What were they doing?

I hit the steering wheel in frustration before  I walked into the empty apartment.

I rummaged in the cabinets of my bathroom looking for my old friends.

My blades.

I made sure the door was locked, my parents could come back any minute. I pressed the cool piece of metal against my bare skin.

That urge, that craving sensation before you've even slid it across your skin.

That tingle, that fist clinching electricity when you slide it across your skin.

The regret, the gutting disappointment after your skin is already broken and torn.

I was two years clean, but now those two years are diminished and I have a new battle.

As I wet a wash cloth, I look into the mirror. I see many things, but not my own self. I don't know who I am, and maybe I never will. Maybe I've always been far too gone and I've passed the point of return.

My self loathing always crawls it's way back into my life, but I like to hurt. Maybe just because it's just too familiar to me.. 

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Sorry it's soooo short, but I'll update again tomorrow to make up for it. I made an instagram and I'll be posting things related to Cold. @clovergirlofficial. Please vote and comment, don't be afraid to comments suggestions or ideas!

xoxo clovergirl