Fool For You (Sequel to Awakening) >> z.m ✔

Chapter Fifteen

{Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I've been extremely busy and not to note, my computer is still not in service. }

~Rachel's POV~

Death had never truly looked me in the eye until today. It may have gotten to Zayn plenty of times, but I have not had a true experience until now.

Harry, even though not close to me like Alayna or Louis, was always that fourth person hanging out around our group. Harry had moved to Virginia long after we had, so we welcomed him with open arms, but he never had that two-plus-year connection like the rest of us did.

In Harry's defense, him and Louis did have a connection, but only since they were the only two guys. Harry would throw parties, and Louis, Alayna, and I would come. Harry was never considered the fourth wheel, but just a kid who had other friendships too.

When Harry started to go out with Louis, it hit us all with surprise. But Louis was happy and we all coped. 

Which is why it was now so hard  to think "Harry Styles, one of my best friends in high school, has a high chance of dying". I couldn't think of it that way, I tried not to.

I had to be strong. For Louis. For Zayn. For Harry. For Alayna and Niall, even though they were probably having a blast on a cruise ship.

This had to be so hard for Louis. I couldn't imagine how it would affect him knowing that he might loose his loved one. I wouldn't know how to react if I lost Zayn.

Zayn. If Zayn wasn't here, I probably would be having a panic attack in the middle of a pit-stop somewhere in North Carolina. I took a hold of Zayn's hand, which was just as sweaty as mine. I could feel my heart rate slowly decreasing until it went back to somewhat normal, but mind was still racing.

Neither one of us spoke a word until we were halfway back to Virginia. We sat in silence for Harry, which only made me feel worse. 

"Are you okay?" Zayn spoke up over the silence. My mind was finally dying down, turning off the adrenaline. My breathing had become even again and no longer ragged. The color had returned to my cheeks, my palms had stopped sweating.

"I still don't know," I let out a shaky laugh, but it sounded more sad than anything. My hand was still resting in Zayn's, which he gave a small squeeze too.

"I know this may be hard, but you got to think of it as Harry might not die. He might be completely fine, maybe even better than before," He says. Zayn has never spoken openly about any other guys I've had a friendship or relationship with, so it was nice to know he was reaching out.

"I know," my voice starts to break again. "It's just so hard."

"Speaking as a person who's dealt with a lot of death in their life, I know how hard it is to loose someone," I could tell Zayn was going to give me a lecture, by the way his tone of voice has changed. "and Harry might not even die. He might completely survive.

"And even if he does die,  it might be really tough for a little while, but that's just.... tough. You'll move on sooner or later. They will always leave an imprint in your mind or even take a fraction of your heart along with them, but you just got to realize they're in a better place. You have to remember all the good times you had with them.

"When I lost Perrie, we both know how bad I handled it. I got high, drunk, skipped a bunch of school. But I snapped out of it... well, you snapped me out of it. I was able to look back that night and realize all the good memories I had with her. It was like my mind suddenly became... clear. I was still sad, no heartbroken, I had lost Perrie, my only real family left other than Samara. But I worked through it and whenever I felt like I might go back into that state again, I thought of good memories. Of everything that time. You, me, Perrie, Samara, even my growing friendship with Alayna. Promise me you'll do that, Rachel," Zayn says, finally done.