Strong

Chapter 17:I've been holding on too tight

Isabella's POV

I had to tell him I knew it had to be today, but how the hell was I gonna do it? My condition was deteriorating and I was now on the waiting list for a kidney donor. I hadn't told anyone yet cause I didn't want the sympathy. They'd all be crying all over me, especially my mom. Gerard was flying in today and I wanted to keep this my secret for a little while. Maybe even forget about it just for the day. Yeah I know it’s stupid, but I just needed to stay strong that’s all. And somehow I was gonna havta do it without Liam.

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He generally came in early for visiting hours and stayed late, but today he was late and I was slowly losing my nerve. He eventually arrived half way through visiting hours with a bouquet of red roses.

 "Hi babe" he leaned over and kissed me. He looked especially handsome today in his grey plaid shirt and black skinny jeans.

 "Hi"

 "Sorry I'm late"

 "Oh its fine, you know you don't even havta come everyday" I laughed even though I wasn't joking.

 "Hey, are you trying to get rid of me?" he teased, but all I did was shrug.

 The first step to breaking up with him was going to be pushing him away. He already thinks I don't love him. So if he thinks I don't want him around, he'll know we're done. The trickiest thing about this mission was that he knows me better than anyone, and if I showed a hint of indecision he'd know it was a hoax. But on the other hand, if I didn't show any remorse he'd figure it out. Maybe not immediately, cause he's good at beating himself up, but once he thought about it, it would make sense.

 "I got you these, as a peace offering" he said handing me the roses. They were really beautiful and smelled even better.

 "They're beautiful Li, thank you."

 He was sitting on the edge of the bed now and he bent down and we kissed, but this time it was a lot longer as I tried to draw strength for what I was about to do.  I looked into his eyes as he eventually pulled away and all I could think was 'I love you' the words were on the tip of my tongue and for a moment I just stared at him afraid at what might slip out of my mouth.

 "Liam I need to tell you something..." I began the words I'd been rehearsing for hours.

 "What is it babe?" Our fingers were intertwined and I decided to focus on them instead of looking him in the eyes.

 "Ok I don't really know how to say this, but..."

 "It’s okay, whatever it is." Ahh he was making this difficult.

 "Liam this isn't working out, I'm done," I just blurted it out and then wished I hadn't. He was still holding my hand, but the expression on his face had changed.

 "So that's it?" he asked in a near whisper. I nodded and looked into his eyes, they looked sad and before I knew it I could feel little droplets running down my cheeks. He wiped them away and smiled at me even though there were tears in his eyes. He took my face in his hands and drew it close to his.

 "I love you" he mouthed and then kissed me and I kissed him back as though my life depended on it. It would have lasted longer if the nurse hadn't walked into the room.

 "Miss Walker, I'm sorry to disturb you, but this is kind of urgent."

Liam's POV

'She told me in the morning, she don't feel the same about us in her bones'

"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave" I looked at Isabella expecting her to say that it was ok, but she didn't and I had to make my way out of the room. This sucked on so many levels it wasn't even funny. It took a while, but I wasn't going anywhere. We had a charity event within the next two hours and I knew I was supposed to be ready, but I didn't really care about that right now. There was something Isabella wasn't telling me and I knew I had to find out what it was. I could go to the event just the way I was if I had to. Finally, after what seemed like an age I saw the nurse walk out of the room and I immediately rushed in.

 "Ok babe, you havta tell me what's goin on."

 "Liam..."

 "C'mon, I'm asking as a friend" I tried hoping she'd just let me in.

 "Ok, but promise me that once I tell you, you won't treat me any different. And that you'll walk outta here smiling and go to your red carpet event."

 "Promise" I didn't mean it but I knew that's what she wanted me to say so I just did.

 "Uhm...you know my kidneys are failing right...?" she started and I knew where this was going and wished I hadn't just made that promise.

 "Yeah" I urged her to go on.

 "Well, it’s gotten to the stage where I know for sure that I'm dying, unless I get a donor."

 I didn't know what to say and I just stood there frozen.

 "Liam?"

 "Uh yeah?"

 "Go, now!" she was yelling and I just wanted to hold her, but the instant I took a step towards her she started yelling at me even louder.

 "LIAM GO Go, Just go now!" she begged the tears running down her cheeks.

 "I'll call you..." I mumbled and then walked out.