Caroline

Chapter 1

Caroline reclined in her new bathtub and closed her eyes. Her knees moved slowly up and down, creating swirls in the hot water. The movement helped to ease the aches in her body.

The movers had arrived early that morning with the material bits of her past that she would allow to share space in her new life. All of it had come from her father's house, of course. Though now tinged with sadness, the memories clinging to those old pieces were still mostly sweet. The layers of dust she had removed from them as she set them into place were not. But there was no denying the feeling of accomplishment she got from her labor. The barest hint of a smile twitched across her lips, then disappeared. Some aches were going to require more than an epsom soak.

The image of her father, fragile and shrunken in his hospital bed, was first among her painful thoughts. She had been there with him, holding his hand, when his chest had rattled its last exhalation. It had been important for her to remain calm and dry-eyed as she'd witnessed it. He would have wanted her to be so. Only after the hospice staff had taken over had the crying begun.

She had tried several times, unsuccessfully, to reach her fiance. She had wanted his strength to help her navigate what was to come, but her calls had gone straight to voice mail. Of course, Derek often avoided outside calls at work; even hers. She understood that his intense focus was part of what made him so successful. So Caroline had had to pull herself together long enough to handle what the hospice staff had required of her. She hadn't broken down again until later, alone in her car, as Derek's recorded voice had played yet again.

Her brain had made no effort to record a single impression of her drive to the apartment she and Derek shared. She vaguely remembered sitting in the parking lot of their building, listening to the pinging and settling of the car as it cooled; though how much time passed as she did, she couldn't say. She only knew that at some point, she had made her way to her front door, unlocked it, and stepped inside.

At first, she couldn't piece together the wrongness of the scene in front of her. The sun had been shining. Derek had been standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Finally, some small part of her brain had awakened and reminded her that Derek should not have been home at that time of the day. Her body had sagged slightly in relief to see him there. Derek would make things better again.

"Babe! You're home!" he had said, a bit loudly to her ears. She had only nodded as she'd begun to slowly walk toward him.

"How's your dad?"

Before she could open her mouth to answer, she'd heard the sound of feminine laughter coming from the direction of their bedroom. The tousled-haired owner of the laugh had appeared just a heartbeat later, walked to Derek, and draped herself around him.

"Hey, lover," the stranger had purred, though her eyes had been locked onto Caroline's, with an odd, self-satisfied smile on her face. "Is this the one who can't be bothered to give you the attention you deserve?"

Caroline's eyes had turned back to Derek then. His eyes had apparently never left her face, though they were wider than before. His coloring had seemed to drain a bit, as well. She had no idea what expression had been displayed on her own face, but she knew her words to him had sounded flat. Lifeless.

"I... I tried to call you..." One heartbeat....two.... "Daddy... he... he died."

One more heartbeat, and Derek had tried to take a step toward her, but had been hampered by the stranger's entanglement. Caroline had raised up a hand and shaken her head "no" to any advance.

"Babe?" Derek had whispered, choked.

She had wanted to say something, but her brain had become too jumbled to form a cohesive thought. Instead, she could only shake her head again and turn back toward the front door.

"Caroline!" Derek had croaked then, but she was already on her way out. As she had walked away, she'd heard the stranger, in a tentative voice, say, "Sugar?", followed by a growled "Get away from me!"

Thankfully, no one had tried to follow her.

Caroline slowly opened her eyes and brought her thoughts back to the present. The flickering light and soothing fragrance of the candles she had placed on the bathroom counter gave the space a feeling of romance. This idea caused her to snort, and gave her the impetus to rise from her bath. She wanted the comfort of her newly-made bed. The next day would be just as long and hard. They all were. She would take the respite of sleep while she could.