Caroline

Chapter 11

Her entire world came to a stop.

"Derek?" She could feel her heart in her throat, choking off his name as she spoke it.

His look turned somewhat sheepish. "Surprise, " he said gently.

"Why.... how did you... I didn't...."

"I called. I texted. But you never answered. I was willing to give you your physical space, but it killed me, not being able to talk to you... to explain... Then I heard you'd left, and I got a little frantic... Can I come in, please?"

Though he spoke the last as a question, he didn't wait for a response, but brushed past her into the house. The screen door closed as she turned to face him. He stood just in front of her, close enough that she could smell the cologne she'd always loved on him; close enough that were she to lean in just a bit, she could find herself right back in his arms. His thoughts must have been the same as, the next moment, she found herself there, wrapped in Derek's embrace.

"Baby," he whispered, his breath warm in her ear. "Oh god, baby.... I missed you so much." Then, before she could protest, or even think, his lips were on hers.

Her body remembered this feeling, and was thrilled. Instinctually, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and returned his kiss with a need she hadn't realized she'd still had in her. With a low, moaning growl, Derek lifted her up so that her legs wrapped around him. He held her there with one hand as the other went to the back of her head, buried itself in her hair, and drew her even deeper into his kiss.

This is how she found herself when a portion of her fogged brain cleared and she realized she was doing the very thing she had been afraid of. "No," she said, pulling away from his kiss. "No... I can't...." She squirmed. "Put me down."

"Cara..." He breathed the intimate nickname into her ear, then moved his lips to the spot just below, the one that had always made her weak whenever he nibbled there. She felt herself succumbing again. Derek had been her first and her only. No one had ever made her feel as beautiful, as desired, as loved. Despite everything, she knew she still loved him. But she couldn't do this. Her heart couldn't survive it.

"Derek, no! Put me down now!"

She struggled in earnest, but he had always been able to hold her just where he wanted her. At one time, his strength had thrilled her. Now, for the first time, she began to fear what he might be capable of doing.

"I can't. I won't," he said while nuzzling her neck. "I fucked up. I know I did. But I swear I will never do anything to hurt you again. You've got to believe me, baby. Don't keep pushing me away. I love you."

His grip was so tight, he was hurting her, despite the promise he had just uttered. She heard the desperation in his voice, but didn't trust herself to know if it was real or even for her. She didn't trust herself with anything. Part of her still wanted to relax into him and let him take care of everything. But she knew she couldn't, not now, not ever again.

"Derek! Let Me Go!"

Behind her, through the screen door, she heard a newly familiar voice.

"I believe the lady said 'no', man."

Caroline tried to twist around but Derek's grip on her was too strong.

"I believe this is none of your business, man," Derek responded, with an edge of threat to his voice. "My fiance is upset with me, for good reason, but we're going to smooth everything out now. Forgive us if we don't have time for a social call."

"Fiance?"

Though she couldn't see him, Caroline heard the confusion in Michael's voice.

"No!" She said, loudly, struggling again. "It's broken, Derek, and you're never going to fix it!" She tried kicking him, but his control over her was complete. "God dammit! PUT ME DOWN!"

The silent pause from both men said volumes. She had never spoken like that to anyone in her life. Derek's grip slipped just enough that she was able to slide down and land awkwardly on her butt. Michael opened the screen door and was by her side in an instant, but it was Derek's hands that were trying to help her up.

"Why'd you do that? I was trying not to drop you."

She pulled away from them both and scrambled to stand behind a chair. "Don't touch me. You don't have the right to ever touch me again!"

"Cara...."

"NO! I am not your Cara, or your baby, or your fiance!" Everything that had been buried deep inside of her when she'd discovered his betrayal seemed to be ready to erupt now. "I am nothing to you! I have always been nothing to you but a means to an end. But that's not gonna happen now, so you can take your sorry ass out of my house. And apologize to my dinner guest for being such a dick!"

Another silent moment passed as both men stared at her. Derek was stunned. But she saw the slow smile appear on Michael's face.

"Baby.... Caroline...." Derek's eyes were pleading. "I came here so we could talk... work this out. I know I messed up... I told you.... but I can make it right... I swear..."

The frustration and anger she felt for him, for the entire situation, she feared was going to split her skin open and incinerate them all where they stood. Tears began to form, making her even angrier at her weakness.

"Um... Derek, is it?" She heard Michael's calm voice say. She and Derek both looked at him. "Look, I get what you're saying. But this obviously isn't a good time for her to have to deal with it. Why not just step back a bit? If you really love her..." he paused and swallowed... "if you really love her, you'll do what she asks, right?"

Derek appeared to want to argue, but stopped as he watched the tears fall down her face. A genuinely pained expression appeared on his. "Cara...?"

She shook her head and roughly wiped the tears away.

"OK, " Derek said, finally. "I'll leave here now. But I'm staying in town. My number is still the same. Please call me, baby. Don't let it end like this."

After a couple of swallows and deep breaths, she was able to whisper, "I'll think about it."

Again he hesitated, appearing reluctant, but finally touched his fingers to his lips, then stretched his arm out in her direction. Without another word, he left.