Caroline

Chapter 25

"Let me start by reminding you that Mark loved you.  He loved you so much that, after your mamma died, he became almost fanatical about keeping you safe and happy.  That man would have moved heaven and earth for you.  But the other side was that he couldn't bear to see you unhappy.  I've seen your stoic front when your heart was breaking.  His reaction to the few tears you shed in front of him made you believe he saw them as a weakness.  Let me set you straight in that regard right now.  The weakness was always his.  Your tears meant he had failed you somehow, and he couldn't stand that.

"When you finally chose to go to Chapel Hill, after all those arguments of whether you should leave home for college, he was both proud of you, and terrified.  Not only was he to have the usual worries for a child leaving home, but also the stress of knowing that Derek was already there.  When Derek graduated without the two of you having met, Mark was beyond relieved.  But then the day came when you told him that you'd finally found the one who could make you happy.  It was all he'd ever wanted for you.  Despite a heart full of misgivings, he held his tongue, watched, and waited.

"To his relief, and mine, I might add, Derek showed every appearance of being sincerely devoted to you.  For that reason, Mark's fear of your discovering his secrets diminished, and he saw Derek as his ally in ensuring your happiness.  That measure of peace was shattered, however, when he learned that Derek had been with at least one other woman during your relationship.  It appeared to be a self-indulgent quirk with him.  He enjoyed the admiration, and allowed that enjoyment to go much further than it should have while he was with you.

"Mark found himself in an impossible situation.  That you were going to be hurt at some point, he had no doubt.  But, coward that he was where your feelings were concerned, he couldn't be the one to deliver that hurt to you.  Add to that his fear that Derek would be vengeful enough after a breakup to spill all of his secrets, and his silence became somewhat understandable, though God knows I berated him enough about it.  But the knowledge that the events leading up to your mamma's death were due to him, both in the action and in the telling, left him scarred."

Here, Terrence paused and finished his cup of tea.  Rising, he asked, "Can I pour you another cup?"  She quickly swallowed the barely warm remains before she handed her cup to him.

"I know how hard it was for you," he continued, "when Mark broke the news of his cancer.  How much do know about that time?"

"Michael said that Daddy had known about it some time before he told me."

He nodded.  "Another source of argument for us.  I'm not sure if it wasn't just an attempt at avoidance on his part, but his thinking wasn't rational then.  Trying to juggle too many balls at once was taking a toll on him.  Then you announced your engagement, and that was the tipping point.  He could envision everything crashing down around him, so, in desperation, he began to plan out one final, grand deception."

He gave her back her cup, then resettled with his own.

"During our conversations at that time, he became fixated on the two young men he had reached out to help.  Both were deserving, though one had made a huge mistake in the company he'd chosen to keep.  Both had accepted the opportunities given them and worked hard toward positive outcomes.  The success of one was showier, readily obvious to everyone; but he exhibited a moral flaw, the consequences of which Mark knew all too well.  Though the success of the second young man was less obvious, it was no less real.  And it was better, because he had managed to find a peace in himself that Mark could only envy. 

"I have no idea how long the seed of this scheme sat dormant before he set it into motion, but once he started, there was no stopping him."

"What scheme?" she asked, as he paused for a sip from his cup.