Corset in Congress (A Hamilton Genderbend)

Chapter Thirteen: Wait for It

Burr's POV

As I walk through the night air, it calms my frayed nerves. I think back on my conversation with Alexandra, and settle on my "special someone", as Laurens put it. 

Theodosia writes me a letter every day. I'm keeping her bed warm while her husband is away. He's on the British side in Georgia, he's trying to keep the colonies in line. But he can keep all of Georgia, because Theodosia, she's mine.

There are those who would condemn me for what I've done, but they don't realize that love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep loving anyway, despite what it does to us. And we laugh and we cry and we break and make our mistakes.

But if there's a reason I'm by her side when so many have tried, I'm willing to wait for it.

I think back on the people in my life. My grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher, but there are things that the homilies and hymns don't teach you. He thought every problem could be solved easily, if one had divine help, but I see now that it's not that simple.

My mother was a genius, my father commanded respect. Unlike me, I think bitterly. I can't even get Laurens to listen to me. When they died, they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect. This why I can't just "go get her," like Alexandra said. I could lose it all, and then how would I keep their memory alive? How would I honour them then?

Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners or the saints either, I realize. It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. We rise and we fall and we break and make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died, then I'm willing to wait for it.

I'm willing to wait for it.

If there's anything I've learned, it is that I am the one thing in life I can control! I an inimitable, I am an original! I'm not falling behind or running late! I'm not standing still, I'm lying in wait, and someday, when I've risen above them all, they'll see that.

Hamilton is facing and endless uphill climb. She has something to prove, she has nothing to lose. That's why she can do what she wants, chase her dreams, her hopes, her aspirations, while I watch from the wings. Hamilton's pace is relentless, she wastes no time!

What is it like in her shoes?

Hamilton doesn't hesitate. She exhibits no restraint. She takes and she takes and she keeps winning anyway. Changes the game and raises the stakes! And if there's a reason she seems to thrive when so few survive, then goddamn it, I'm willing to wait for it!

Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes. We rise and we fall! And if there's a reason I'm still alive when so many have died, then I'm willing to wait for it!

Wait for it...