Corset in Congress (A Hamilton Genderbend)

Chapter Four: The Story of Tonight

Laurens' POV

Burr stalks out of the building, hands shaking, but I hardly notice. All I see is Alexandra, standing up for her beliefs, swearing that she'll never be silenced by injustice. She holds her head high, and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. The boys like her, and that has to count for something, right?

She's not going to love you, a little nagging voice says in the back of my head. You're not what she needs. She needs someone with wealth, someone with standing. To her, you're a means to an end, a little toy soldier to move around.

I know the voice is right, so I drop it, focusing instead on Alexandra's favourite topic, the Revolution. Faintly I hear her say something. I snap out of it, and bring myself back to reality.

She's sitting on a stool next to Lafayette and Hercules, clinking her glass against theirs, and she says these bittersweet words, "I may not live to see our glory!"

I want to cry out, No, don't think like that! You're wonderful and amazing, and I don't know what the Revolution would do without you! but I can't. I have to just echo my compatriots as they repeat the line, faking an enthusiasm I don't quite feel.

"I may not live to see our glory," we repeat, despondent.

"But I will gladly join the fight!" She continues, cheering me up considerably. Now that we're discussing a future less bleak, us three happily join in.

"And when our children tell our story...

"They'll tell the story of tonight!" Alexandra sings, perfectly confident in what the future holds for her. I find myself wishing that I could have that calm assurance.

Hercules, in one of his wisest moments, calls over the barmaid. "Let's have another round tonight!" He suggests, a wide but somewhat subdued smile on his face.

Lafayette readily agrees. Honestly, he can drink all of us under the table. "Let's have another round tonight!" 

To all our surprise, Alexandra concedes. "Let's have another round tonight," she says, shrugging.

The serving girl comes back with our drinks. They're my favourite, Sam Adams, and we stop for a minute, chattering softly to each other and tenants. It's quiet, friendly. I'm sitting right next to Alexandra, breathing in her scent. It's far more intoxicating than any liquor. 

Impulsively, I lean forward to better absorb her scent. When she looks at me funny, I fumble.

"Raise a glass to freedom!" I'm quick in my improvising, and Alexandra lights up. My friends shout in agreement as I continue, more passionate in every line.

"Something they can never take away!" I think of all the slaves, and resolve to fight for them until my last breath.

"No matter what they tell you!" Take that, King George III.

Gesturing around me to my faithful comrades-- Hercules, Lafayette, and, of course, the lovely Alexandra, giving them the credit each one deserves, I add a line. "Raise a glass to the four of us!" 

Hercules joins me for the next part. "Tomorrow there'll be more of us!"

Then Lafayette: "Telling the story of tonight!"

Alexandra now, setting my heart beating faster. "They'll tell the story of tonight."

She drops back out, letting the rest of us carry the torch for a while. We've known each other for what seems like forever, so we easily fit into a beautiful unison, knowing just the right volume to keep the phrases balanced.

"Raise a glass to freedom! Something they can never take away!"

"No matter what they tell you!" Butting in is Alexandra, but it seems like she belongs there, at the front, leading us. I know she'll do a better job than me already.

Man, I've fallen hard. Girl just took my spot in the friend group, and I'm over here like, Looking forward to working with you as your second-in-command. Seriously, who does that?

I decide I need to retake control of this situation. "Raise a glass to the four of us!" I call loudly, but not aggressively, as I only have so many companions, and I'd rather not lose them all because of petty disagreements.

"Tomorrow there'll be more of us!" All of us chorus, grinning like madmen. Any animosity I may have felt towards Alexandra instantly disintegrates when she shoots me a ten thousand dollar smile.

Together, the remarkable young woman and I sing the next line, our faces coming closer with each word. "Telling the story of tonight!"

I realize that I won't be able to last under this pressure. She's so much better-- at everything. Everything. Too close is her hand, and it takes every muscle in my body to refrain from grasping it and never letting go. Ever.

Thankfully the two greatest friends in the world notice my unsaid SOS, and immediately come to my aid. Hercules and Lafayette crash into our soft tune with all the drunken testosterone they can muster, disrupting the black magic she hast cast on me.

"Let's have another round tonight!"

Effortlessly slipping into a call-and-echo, Alexandra and I start, with Lafayette and Hercules coming in after us.

"They'll tell the story of tonight! (Raise a glass to freedom!)

"They'll tell the story of tonight! (Raise a glass to freedom! They'll tell the story of--)

"They'll tell the story of tonight."

And in the silence of that moment, I see my chance. All of us sing the last word softly, and it's possibly the safest I've felt in New York.

"...tonight..."

Then the sound peters out, and Alexandra says she has to dash, then Hercules, then finally my dedicated drinking buddy Lafayette. He looks at me sadly before he leaves, and I'm left alone with the horrifying truth.

I missed my chance.

I threw away my shot.