Corset in Congress (A Hamilton Genderbend)

Laurens' Interlude

Laurens' POV

The smoke in my eyes blinded me. The chaos of the battlefield deafened me. I didn't see the soldier. I didn't see the shot. I didn't hear the warning.

But I felt the bullet.

It struck me somewhere in my abdomen.

All around me, my men are falling, the enemy is falling. Carnage is everywhere, and it hits me that I have become part of it, another corpse, cold but not yet lifeless. 

Coming to my mind is every happy memory, few from my childhood. I see my dear friends, Hercules and Lafayette, and I see Aaron Burr, who, while not a friend, is friendly enough. Then I remember Alexandra. My Alexandra. And I sing, remembering a drunken night millions of years ago, though only blood froths from my mouth instead of words.

I may not live to see our glory...

"Alexandra?" I hear Elijah approach her writing desk. I spent hours at that desk with her. "There's a letter for you from South Carolina."

But I will gladly join the fight...

She doesn't even turn her head, instead keeps scribbling away with her quill, dismissing her husband with an offhand remark and a wave of her hand. "It's from John Laurens, I'll read it later." Of course she'd say that. She wouldn't want to read my letter in front of him. That would just be wrong.

But Elijah's not going anywhere. "No, it's not." Now Alexandra turns, worry clouding her ink-smudged face.

And when our children tell our story...

"Will you read it?" she asks, and I want to scream.

They'll tell the story of... tonight...

An oblivious Elijah reads aloud, "On Tuesday the 27th, Lieutenant John Laurens was killed in a gunfight against British troops in South Carolina." It's as if I feel the bullet pierce my body all over again, as I see Alexandra's broken expression. "These troops had not yet received word from Yorktown that the war was over. He's buried here until his family can send for his remains."

"As you may know," Elijah's still reading. Why is he still reading? "Lieutenant Colonel Laurens was engaged in recruiting 3000 men for the first all-black military regiment. The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters."

Wait, what? I fought for those men! I died for my men! They deserve freedom!

Then I see how shattered she is. My Alexandra, afraid of nothing, is looking like the ground underneath her has fallen out from under her, like her very world just imploded. I can't stand to see her like this.

Reaching out, I cup her chin with my hand, before pulling her into a loving hug, feeling tears slide down my cheek and into her hair. "Tomorrow there'll be more of us," I whisper in her ear, my voice only breaking slightly.

She stiffens, and then pushes me away, looking me directly in the eyes, hers still glistening.

Elijah interrupts, his own voice betraying how he feels about this news. It wouldn't hurt him to be a little more torn up about my death. "Alexandra, are you alright?"

She stands up, pushing back her chair with a determination I've never before seen. "I have so much work to do," she says, hurriedly wiping her eyes, then tearing out of her office like she's just spotted Burr. 

The two of us stand in silence, a bit baffled. Then I glare over at Elijah and say, with a bitterness I really do feel, "She was mine first."

I swear he flinched.