Hooked The Making of an Addict

Chapter Eleven: Love Hate

I woke up the next morning confused yet again. Not about where I was or how I got there but about the memories I had from the night before. Nothing made any sense. The world made zero sense. I could see myself walking home with CeCe but it wasn't the normal walk it was tainted with images that shouldn't have been there. 

I forced myself out of bed trying not to think about it. I needed to just get through the day as normal as possible. I couldn't let twisted memories control my actions. I needed to get focused. I needed to get back on track. This was going to be my life for a while and I needed to make the best of it. 

I stumbled down the stairs to eat breakfast with everyone. They had started without me. I must have slept later than I thought. 

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to eat breakfast today." Ann said to me with a tone to her voice that said she knew everything. 

I couldn't keep messing up. This wasn't like living with my parents. Ann and Michael could send me back if they wanted to. They didn't have the biological responsibility to raise me. 

I sat down at the end of the table and began to fill my plate with food trying to avoid the knowing stare I was receiving from everyone. 

How did any of them know? Had I done something without remembering it? 

The rest of the morning was quiet. No one really spoke to anyone. Maybe it wasn't just me who was in trouble. Maybe Ann and Michael knew everyone in the house had a tendency to make trouble. 

Once we we're finally on the way to school CeCe broke the silence. 

"I could kick your ass Oli."

"I was fucking high it's not like I meant too."

"What did you do?" I asked curious if he was the reason Ann was angry this morning. 

"This idiot called Ann's cell phone and left a two hour long message while he was tripping last night." CeCe answered before Oli had a chance to. 

"It was a butt dial. I didn't mean to actually call her I must have sat on my phone."

"What did the voice mail say?" I could feel my heart pounding. 

"Mostly it was him rambling on about all the pretty colors and then he just had to bring our names into it." CeCe said clearly getting more and more angry. 

"I didn't know I was on the phone! Jake and I left to walk the trails and when we came back y'all we're gone. Sorry for caring enough to look for you."

"Oh please you we're trying to save your own ass."

"Does it even matter? We're all caught now."

The argument went back and fourth the entire ride to school. I couldn't even focus long enough to catch anymore of it. I had knots in my stomach. This was it. I was going to move again. I had just gotten my things put away in my room and I was going to have to pack them all back up. 

Once Oli parked the car I jumped out. I didn't even wait for him to turn the engine off. I needed air. I felt like the car had begun to compact on all of us. 

"Aaron relax." CeCe said from behind me. "They are going to lecture us and be a little angry for a few days, we're going to promise to never do it again and then in a week or two everything will be back to normal."

I walked away from her. I needed to stay away from her this time. I really needed to avoid her as much as possible. I couldn't let myself get dragged back in this time. I needed to get my shit together. I have two more years of school then I'm out. I'm out of school. Out of foster care. Out of my family. I can finally just be free. 

I needed to stay on this path. I couldn't let myself keep veering off just to be with her. Even if I did enjoy every second I had with her. 

Even if I did enjoy the high. 

I went to my locker as quickly as I could and got to my first class before the bell had even rang. I sat in the back as I always did before and I tried my hardest to just stay to myself. I had to get back to normal. My normal. 

I spent the rest of the day like that. I sat in the back corner as I had always done at my old school. I was shocked when CeCe didn't even make an attempt to sit with me in any of my classes. Maybe she really did understand somewhere in that twisted up brain. 

I could tell by the look on her face that I had hurt her feelings without even saying a word. I think she knew what I had been thinking all day.

The end of school bell had finally rung and it suddenly hit me that I was going to be stuck in the car with both Oli and CeCe. I guess I couldn't completely avoid her no matter how hard I tried. I was always going to have to be around her at some point in time during the day. 

We spent the entire ride home ignoring one another. I had a feeling I was going to hate this more than I liked it. I had finally made some friends and managed to push them both away for one night of getting away from my mind. 

I was beginning to think this is what my mom always tried to explain to me about my dad. She would tell me he was angry because the lows we're getting to him. Maybe I was wrong but it sure felt low to me.