Pre War Bucky Barnes One Shots

I'll Keep This Secret For You (Part 15)

Today is going to be one of the hardest days of your life. Just like it was last year. Just like it was the year before that. And the year before that too.

Today is the fourth anniversary of Bucky's death.

Every year so far you and your two kids have spent it at home kind of just mourning together and wallowing in your grief.

The three of you are managing to live a fairly normal life again now but every year this day comes around and there's no stopping it and it hits you like a tonne of bricks each time no matter how prepared you try to be. There is just something about this day that brings on the all terrible black dog, a whole lot of tears and the persistent feeling of wanting to just shut yourself away from the rest of the world.

Their fathers death still affects the kids to this day. You can tell.

Luke is now thirteen and he has definitely gone off track in life a little bit. The fact that he once had Bucky there for him and now doesn't definitely has left a lasting impact on him. He knew Bucky. He loved Bucky. He misses Bucky.

Now days he isn't that smiley, happy, funny little boy you knew. He's gone off the rails somewhat. He gets in trouble at school often. You get phone calls from his teachers telling you to come pick him up or that they're worried about him.

And you know that the boys he hangs out with are no good. They break rules, they hang out after dark doing who knows what. It's rubbing off on Luke. He rebels now, and he's only 13. He refuses to do his homework, barely comes out of his room, stays out late after school and doesn't tell you why.

You try your best to stop it from happening but he only seems to get worse. It breaks your heart to see your little boy this way.

Isla has been affected too. Not having a father figure in her life has caused her to grow up very fast. She's only six but she's so mature for her age it's almost sad.

She's such a smart, kind and giving little girl and you can tell she has big dreams. You love her to pieces. You share a room with her so that Luke can have one to his self and every night she tells you all about her day and she is just such a happy kid.

Sometimes out of the blue she still asks you about her dad and every time your still so taken aback that you don't really know what to say. But each time you tell her the truth. That he was the strongest, most giving, charming man with kindest heart you've ever known and that he loved her beyond words. She'll then smile and ask you to tell her a story about you and him. She loves stories.

She looks so much like Bucky it is crazy.

But anyway, you've decided that today is going to be different. Today you're not going to mope around, that's not what Bucky would want you to do.

You go and fetch Isla from your room and tell her to come into the lounge and then go knock on Luke's bedroom door.

"Luke!" You call kindly against his door.

"What?" He snaps.

"Can you please come out here?" You ask politely.

"Why?" He groans.

"I want to talk to you." You sigh.

"About what?" He persists.

"Look your not in trouble, I just want to talk to you and Isla about something." You say quietly, not in the mood to fight today.

"Hmm, I wonder what that could be." He says sarcastically as he pulls the door open.

Sarcasm and acting like he doesn't care seems to be his way of coping.