Club Fucked Up

Brief Perfection

September 28,1989
4:32 a.m.
It's too early for this shit! I think to myself as I sit in a heap beside the toilet, holding my hair back. My face is red and puffy from crying and my breath smells of acid. God I'm glad JD isn't here! Luckily this was one of the nights he decided not to spend the night. So far I've been able to hide everything from him. I don't think I can tell him just yet. I can't keep it, I know that, I have college and I'm only 17! But there is something in the back of my mind wanting to keep it.
"God fucking damnit!" I grunt
"Hello slut! Or should I say expecting mommy slut?" Heather fucking Chandler said with a delighted smirk. How the fuck does she always just appear? And I'm pissed that she looks so fucking pleased with herself
"Heather not now can't you see I look and feel like hell!?" I managed to say as I begin to vomit again, by now it's mostly vile because my stomach is empty.
"Paybacks a true bitch isn't it! Guess you should have thought of that before you killed me! So have you decided how you're going to tell Jesse James?"
Wow for once in her life... well afterlife, whatever...I'd almost think she almost sounds concerned
"No not yet..." I lied, I actually haven't stopped thinking about how I was going to tell him. Looking down at my swatch I notice it's already 6:39. Already! It can't be, maybe I can just stay home from school and try to figure all this shit out.
Later that day
12:12 p.m.
"Ronnie?... Beautiful, are you ok?" JD asks as he shakes me gently and kisses my forehead.
"What?" I mumble, oh shit! My head is throbbing!
"Ronnie?" He says as he starts to comb through my hair with his fingers
"No JD I'm not ok, not even close. Boudelier! Boudelier! Mother fucking Boudelier!" I say,sitting up, tears streaming down my face. As soon as I say it I know he understands what I mean.
"Ok,ok darling I understand." He says as he pulls me into his chest and just lets me cry. I cling tighter to his trench coat and inhale the smell of his cologne. He just lets me forget just how fucked up my life truly is as he pulls me into his lap and presses his lips to my forehead.
"Ronnie? Would you like to talk about it?" He asks quietly as he continues to play with my hair again.
"No." I say quietly with my head still buried in his chest.
"Or would you like to watch old movies and just cuddle and drink sushies?"
"Yeah I like that." I say trying my best to collect myself.
For the rest of the day I'm in and out of mood swings. And every time I start to break down he pulls me back into his lap and I don't refuse because the closer I am to him the more secure I feel. And for a few perfect hours the rest of the world melts away.