Club Fucked Up

The reality of it all

(Veronica's perspective)
October 3, 1989
2:35 a.m.
   There was a shuffling of the sheets as I groggily lift my heavy eyes. Although being too tired to care my dreary eyes shut before noticing why the sheets were moving.
   As quickly as I fall back asleep my stomach has woken me up ready to see last night's dinner for a second time. Although when I rush to the edge of the toilet bowl JD isn't following my footsteps like he usually is. Where is he? Why isn't he here? He's always here...and before I can even finish my thought my dinner decides to make a reappearance to the world.
   "Looks like Jesse James left you in the cold huh?" Why the fuck is she always here!?
   "Heather what are you doing here?" I manage in between dry heaving. Is she right? No no no she can't be not today, today is too important for him to just skip town. He's not that heartless, is he? Of course he isn't, she's just messing with my head. He knows today means too much, I mean it's my... or um our first doctor's appointment. Whatever she's just trying to get in my head like the bitch she is and guess what, it's working.
   "Come on Ronnie, only a dead best friend would give it to you straight!" She brags
   "Heather... he'd never do that."
   "You sure, because he did kill me didn't he? And where is he RIGHT NOW? See Veronica, this kid doesn't have a heart and he never has. He doesn't love you!" she says as she crosses her arms and leans closer to my face.
   "Shut the fuck up Heather! You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" AHHHHHH, she aggravates me so much she's always sticking her ass in business that isn't hers!
   "God Veronica no reason to be such a pussy I'm just trying to help, wow pregnancy really has turned you into a bitch hasn't it!" She sneers
   "I don't need your help Heather!" I comment with my knees pressed to my chest after my vomiting episode has ended.
   After my encounter with Heathers I finally find the energy to raise myself from the bathroom tile. Once I'm up I cling to the countertop and gaze into the bathroom mirror at a girl that I can't even recognize. Her cheeks stained with tears, eyes red and puffy from crying, and her once silky brown hair now matted from being unkept. Who was this girl she was looking at? Her once beautifully slim figure now getting broader in preparation for the baby. The thought of her baby brought tears to her eyes. She couldn't keep the child she never doubted that but there is always a yearning to keep a newborn child in the back of a young mother's mind.
   Around 4:30 I decide to climb back underneath the warm sheets and not long after JD's presence is made know again by more ruffling of the sheets, and once he is safely secured from the outside world I cling to his body and nuzzle my head into his neck. But instead of his usual cologne he smells of cold outside air which is unfamiliar to me. Though soon the concern about his smell drifts from my mind as I fall into a deep sleep.
8:10 a.m.
   After a few more episodes of running to the bathroom and running back to bed I finally decide that it's time to wake up. The thought of going to the doctor today terrifies me because other than the morning sickness none of this has felt like reality.
   "Ronnie, my love are you excited!" He exclaims overly giddy coming up from behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I can't help but smile as his powerful lips press against my neck.
   "Stoked!" I giggle as I turn around in his arms so that I can look into his beautiful brown eyes.
   "Me too darling!" Why is he so happy? Is this baby really that important to him? Damnit of course it is, shit this is all Heather's fault!
   "You ready?" I ask pushing these bullshit thoughts out of my mind.
   "Ok then let's head you." He says after planting one last kiss on my lips.
   After a long car ride full of anxiety and sweaty palms we finally arrive at the small doctors office.
   "Ms.Sawyer." The nurse exclaims as I stand from the chair I'm sitting in. "Right this way!" she says opening a door and flashing an overly happy smile. As we journey down the endless hallway JD grabs my hand giving it a squeeze in an attempt to calm my nerves that fails.
   "The doctor will be with you shortly!" The nurse says leaving the room after asking me a never ending list of questions.
   My heart feels like it might explode out of my chest as I hear the doorknob start to shake.I don't think I'm going to live past this appointment, but before the mysterious person behind the door can enter the room Heather fucking Chandler sashays right through it! God damnit!