Club Fucked Up

Why Me?

(Not related! The italicized text is JD thoughts)

September 28, 1989
4:15 p.m.
And then the perfect hours ended.
"JD... I have something to tell you..." I whispered hoping he wouldn't hear and we could just move on
"Ronnie what is it, you know you can tell me anything!" He said with concern in his voice but I knew once he heard what I had to say, all of his concern would turn to hatred. And just the thought of that freighted me so much but I know I have to tell him at some point.
"You really aren't going to like it." I say looking at my comforter fiddling my thumbs, I can't even dare to look into his eyes right now.
"Veronica, please I don't really give a shit about what it is just tell me!"
Is that irritation in his voice? I really can't tell. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest and all over him! God damnit! Just say it already! If he truly loves you he'll support you and if he doesn't the fuck him.
"Jason... I think I'm..." I can't even finish my sentence I feel like I'm going to throw up.
"Darling just spit it out." What is going on? She never calls me Jason and she also knows I really hate being called Jason! Something really isn't right.
"I'm... I'm pregnant!" Immediately the caring look in his eyes turns to hatred. He looks like he's ready to strangle me so I flinch back.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK VERONICA!!" This isn't my fault! It's not like something I can control. Why did he get so mad at me all of a sudden?
"Please JD try to understand!" I plead as I bite my lip and struggle to hold back tears.
"I thought you were on the fucking pill? This is all your fault!" There is so much anger in his voice that it sends chills down her spine.
Suddenly my face is burning with pain! It spreads throughout my face like a wildfire in Texas during a drought. And all I can do is cry more and more, my skin stinging when the tears contact the tinder skin. All I can do is take every punch, slap, and kick that he gives throws at me. Then he yanks me to the floor by my hair as I screams in pain.
Why is he torturing me like this? I didn't do anything wrong. I thought he loved me!
First it was a kick to the stomach with his boot, the a punch to the chest.
"Kurt and Ram where fucking right! You are nothing but a dirty little whore!" He said as he slammed her head into the carpeting several times. As he did this I slipped in and out of consciousness.
Why is her life such a living hell! None of this was my fault! None of it! He had already killed the baby and was probably going to kill her too. But I couldn't move or defend myself all I could do was lay there and take the blows.
He wouldn't stop kicking her lifeless body. He was so filled with anger he just wanted all of it to disappear!
"Nononononon!!!" He screamed at her pale bruised face.
"You're the one that fucked up this is all your fault you little slut!" He said, forcing her head into the floor again.
As I barely slipped back into consciousness I saw him storm out of my bed room pulling at his hair and muttering something I couldn't make out. He looked like a complete madman and it frightened me so much!
Storming backing into the room he rushed over to me with the face of a murderer. Pulling his foot back for one final blow to my face I used all the strength the had left to lift my hands to cover my face. Although the small amount of protection was no help, then and all I could see was darkness.