Club Fucked Up

Power through, or at least try

October 27, 1989
8:09 a.m.
    Well as of right now in the past two weeks I've only had four days where I didn't storm out of school with tears staining my face. The staff at Westerberg has noticed my episodes though, now every Wednesday I get to sit in silence with Mrs. Fleming and act like I'm talking about my feelings. How very... Luckily Fleming is a nut case who will believe anything I make up just like my parents.
    The threesome rumor that came up a few weeks ago is still showing its face at Westerburg though, and JD says he has a solution but it really unsettles me to think about.
"Come on Ronnie it will be so simple! Just listen to me." He starts.
"JD I really don't know about this, I mean Heather was one thing but that was an accident."
"It's just offing two assholes to make the world a better place!" He states as his voice raises a bit.
"Killing the star football players is not the the solution to our problems or... problem." I say placing my hand on my abdomen which is growing slightly now that I'm a full month in.
"Oh Ronnie, she's not a problem she's a miracle. I just don't want her to come into a fucked up world!"
"Her?" I question.
"Yeah... I really want a daughter..."He states almost embarrassed.
"Oh darling I hope she's a girl too..." I say sympathetically with joyful tears filling my eyes.
"Really?" Oh how the world just lights up when he smiles.
"Yeah." I assure him as I gently press my lips to his.
"But really Ronnie, all we have to do is off them and the world will be so much nicer for her to come into!" Oh my God! The thought of killing Kurt and Ram makes me feel bad, but not as bad as I should... which makes me feel even worse...
"Jason, darling can we talk about this later?" I question trying to do anything to change the subject.
"Sure beautiful."
For the next forty five minutes we talk about many things like Slushie, JD's saxophone, and college. I actually recently got my acceptance letters from Harvard and Brown but I don't know if they'd enjoy having a student who's expecting in their journalism programs... While we talk I do notice that the telephone is ringing in the distance but I pay no attention to it. I never really get phone calls from many people now that JD lives at my house with me and Heather Duke is now queen bee of Westerburg.
I know that dinner will be ready in a few minutes but before my mother calls us down there is one thing I feel like I need to bring to JD's attention.
"Hey JD." I start
"Hm." He responds not giving me his full attention.
"Um... I wanted to tell you something about your dad..." I can feel my heart rate increasing as I bring up the touchy subject of JD's dad.
"Ronnie no need to trouble yourself with that stupid son of a bitch I mean co-"
"I saw on the news that he was murdered." the words are already out of my mouth before I can even register what I said. All JD does is stare back at me blankly, and I can't decide what is going on in that head of his.
"Um yeah... Veronica I need to tell you something and you are totally going to hate me for it but you deserve to know the truth..."Oh god I can't even imagine where this is going to go! My head starts to spin trying to figure out what this confession of his entails but before he can even start his explanation my mother calls for me downstairs with rage and concern in her voice.
"VERONICA SAWYER!"
"Oh goodie this will be fun!" Heather smirks, how very... she's always here at the worst fucking times!
"Sit down! We have to talk!" my mother exclaimed after I rush down stairs with JD in toe.